What happens in Vegas
by happycat12
Summary: What happens when an ex Princess on the run from rehabilitation security meets up with an ex-con who she may or may not have had a relationship with... in Sin city. Anything, and everything...
1. Chapter 1

O _k so this is set between series 1 and 2 after Eleanor comes back from partying around the world, but assuming Jasper went back to Vegas after he got out of prison._

* * *

While at the time it had seemed like a good idea, by the time she's been on the run for nearly two hours, her feet are starting to ache, she's thirsty, hot and bothered in a climate that is ridiculously unconducive to escape and beginning to think she's properly lost, she concedes that perhaps her plan hadn't been as well thought out as it could have been.

And looking back her decision _was_ somewhat impulsive.

But two days in the Palm Oasis Rehabilitation Centre and Luxury Spa was more than enough for anyone. It wasn't that the facilities, or the quality of the surroundings, weren't superior. They were excellent, the best, in fact, because Royalty always got the best.

It was every bloody thing else about the facility that was the problem.

The rules - no drugs, no alcohol, _no swearing,_ which was absolutely fucking ridiculous considering they had over 100 clientele going cold turkey off every type of drug conceivable with no drink penned up to simmer over their withdrawals together.

And then there was the therapy. If she wanted to spend time examining her inner being and navel gazing at herself to discover the cause of her addictions she could very well have done that at home. But she hadn't chosen to do any such thing. She didn't care to discuss her father or her brother or Beck or her mother fucking bodguard with her twin much less with _strangers_.

And thinking of her mother only sought to remind her that of course she was the origin of her present situation. That her mother announced three days ago when she had returned from her round the world party tour that she had had enough of the drugs, the drink, the headlines, the Royal Beaver making an appearance, and the scandel and she was admitting her daughter to rehab as soon as possible, whether she consented or not. And furthermore she would be going somewhere as far away as possible.

"You can't just _do that_ ," Eleanor had snapped, protesting.

"I'm the Queen of England," her mother had replied, with regal haughtyness. "Watch me," then turned on her heel and exited stage left to give Rachel her instructions.

Two hours later she was forcibly offloaded on the family's private jet, bound for Las Vegas. Her security had stayed with her until she'd checked in and then departed for England, the clinic reassuring her mother that they already had the best possible security arrangements already in place.

Bloody bollocks, Eleanor thought, smirking, as she recalled the ease with which she had scaled over the facility walls and made her escape.

She had survived two days being held hostage in the world's most luxurious jail before she had finally snapped. And formed a somewhat hasty, and now apparently foolhardy, and very possibly lethal if she didn't find some form of civilization in the new few hours, escape plan.

Eleanor was still stewing over the injustice her incarceration when she finally spied something that looked promising.

It was quite dark now as it must be nearly midnight, but she could make out a building in the distance.

Fifteen minutes later, she rounded upon what was definately a structure, and on the far side flurescent lights illuminated the name 'Jack's diner.'

There was a fair amount of relief, and triumph, in knowing that she had foiled her mother's plan and she wasn't going to be bitten by a rattlesnake, die of thirst in the desert alone or be eaten alive by a wandering bear or whatever other life threatening hazards could present themselves in this godforsaken part of this former colony.

Going by the outside, it was little surprise to her that Jack's diner turned out to be a dump peopled by hicks.

Never mind, she had no intention of hanging around here long.

Eleanor strode up to the bar purposefully as the bartender eyed her with interest. It was clear that she didn't fit the mold of his usual customer and he gave no sign that he had any idea who she is. Well he probably didn't watch the news. Or possibly even know that places outside America existed.

"Would you mind very much if I used your phone?" Eleanor asks in her best Princess voice. Unfortunately she doesn't have cash or her wallet, both having been confiscated on check in at rehab, and her phone died a half hour ago so she'll have to make do here.

The bartender shrugs with disinterest and points to the phone near the kitchen door.

She's not calling her security. She's not calling Liam who last she spoke with was drowning his sorrows in a pub on the arm of an anonymous blonde and she's sure as hell not calling her mother who'll order her straight back to that prison.

There's only one person who's number she knows who's even vaguely nearby.

There's only one goddamn American she knows who's slippery enough to make the cesspool that Vegas is his home.

She waits impatiently while the phone rings once, twice and then...

"Frost," comes the curt reply.

Eleanor clears her throat and attempts to clear her head.

"Jasper I require your services. Regrettably," Eleanor announces.

There's silence at the other end of the line for a good ten seconds.

"Princess," he greets her finally. "Good evening to you too. Now would you mind telling me where you are and why you require my services?"

Errm, this is going to be difficult to explain. She most certainly does not want to disclose the particular set of circumstances which have led to her being here, somewhere in the middle of the Las Vegas desert, with no money, no phone and no security, on the run from an exclusive rehabilitation facility and its security staff who could be very possible already be on her tail. Jasper will probably take her straight back there to be locked back up again.

"There were some ...extenuating circumstances involved," she prevaricates. "Anyway, I'm somewhere in the desert near Las Vegas and I need you to come and pick me up, Jasper. It is quite urgent," she adds, imperiously. The quicker she can get away from rehab and into the city, the lower the chance of the long arms of rehabilitation security catching up with her.

Jasper's immediately suspicious. "What the hell are you doing near Vegas. And where the fuck is your security?" he demands.

"There's no time to explain that," Eleanor replies, huffily. Although to be correct, its not that there's no time, its more that she needs time to get her story straight.

"Can you come and pick me up?" she repeats her question. "Or am I going to have to hitchhike?"

Jasper scowls down the phone. Knowing Eleanor she's probably wearing some ridiculously skimpy outfit and she would have no trouble at all catching a lift. But what might happen after is causing the vein in his temple to start throbbing and his temperature to rise.

"You had better tell me where you are," he orders crossly.

"I'm at a diner, Jack's diner, which is on a dusty road with a petrol station nearby and its about a fifty miles from Vegas and-"

"So basically you have no fucking idea where you are," Jasper interrupts her, sounding irritated. "Will you just pass the phone over to someone who works there then," he tells her.

Eleanor doesn't argue and complies, allowing the barman to give out instructions to get there.

The barman passes the phone back to her without comment.

"I'll be there in about an hour. And when I get there you'll have some goddamn explaining to do Princess," Jasper tell her, then hangs up.

Eleanor blinks, looking at the phone for a second before placing it back in the cradle.

She considers her options. There is absolutely nothing to do here and given there's no prospect of drugs here the next best option is a drink.

She's doesn't have any money but that's never been a barrier before.

She looks around the joint, casing the various inhabitants who have made this place their temporary home.

There's a a drunk who looks near 60 with a beer gut protruding from his singlet. He looks like he's onto about his tenth drink.

She discards him, her gaze flickering over a middle aged couple whose dress and loud mothed conversation proudly declares themselves white trash. Finally she spies a man drinking alone in the corner, maybe in his 30s. Not too bad looking, if a little rough.

Beggars can't be choosers, she supposes.

He's already spotted her and is looking her up and down with a confidence that suggests he's used to getting his way with women.

She sashays over to him casually.

"Can I get you a drink darlin'?" he offers, as soon as she approaches. "Nothing worse than a pretty girl drinking alone."

"I'm always up for a drink," Eleanor replies, cocking her eyebrow at him flirtaciously. "And I make it a rule never to drink alone."

Too easy. Game on.


	2. Chapter 2

Jasper walks into the diner like a cowboy flinging the saloon doors open at a wild west bar. It takes him all of about two seconds to zero in on his target - Princess Eleanor Henstridge from London, England, doing god knows what in a dive near Las Vegas.

As this is a find and retrieve mission with a few quick strides he's by her side and then his hand clamps around her arm.

"Get up, we're leaving," he tells her, wasting no time on introductions.

Although Jasper's typical rudeness holds no surprises, Eleanor complies because the faster she's out of this place, the better.

However, her drinking buddy opposite takes umbridge at his sudden appearance after buying her three drinks which confirms in his mind that he's on to a sure thing with this hot little number who seems to be lapping it all up.

The other man's on his feet and places a hand squarely on Eleanor's other arm and shoves Jasper in the chest. "Hey buddy, the lady's with me. She's not going anywhere unless its home with me."

Jasper pulls Eleanor closer towards him so she's being pulled from one to the other like a yo yo, then Jasper steps up close to his face, "The _lady_ has expensive tastes and I very much doubt she's interested in anything you can offer her. And if you want to fight about it then we can go right now. Now let her go and we'll settle this the traditional way - by me punching you in the face. And its only fair that I warn you that I'm a professional and you're going to regret it tomorrow. "

"Oh yeah?' the other man challenges, but releases his grasp on Eleanor as requested while he prepares for a fight.

"Yeah," Jasper replies back smoothly as he coolly observes the other man's temper rising.

"Seriously, is this really necessary?" Eleanor interrupts, rolling her eyes from the sidelines. "And Jasper if you must fight, will you please try not to kill him, it will raise a lot of unnecessary questions," Eleanor adds, thinking that the last thing she needs is the police getting involved in this _situation_.

They both ignore her, while making menancing faces at each other reminiscent of a wild west gunslinging contest.

Jasper sees the blow coming and before the other man's fist has a chance to connect he dodges the blow and strikes out with his fist which connects with the man's chest in one powerful blow.

A minute later he's down on the floor, but he's got a tight grip on Jasper's shirt and he pulls him down with him and in return lands his fist on Jasper's cheek.

The two of them tussle and fight a minute longer before the owner of the bar intervenes and pushes them apart.

And then Jasper is being hauled by the scruff of his neck, while the other man's lying on the floor.

"Ain't no fighten allowed in my bar. Them's the rules," the bar owner yells at him, pointing to a sign that reads:

 _No fighting_  
 _No damaging bar property_  
 _No democrats_

Japser is hustled towards the bar exit while Eleanor trots after both of them.

"Now get out and stay out, both of you," the bar owner shouts at them as they are pushed out the door, which is then slammed after them.

Jasper turns without a word and heads for his vehicle, simmering.

"Well that went well," Eleanor observes as she follows after him.

"Do I need to remind you that he tried to punch me first?," as usual Eleanor manages to know just what to say to set him off. "And maybe I wouldn't have had to fight him if you hadn't given him the impression he was going to be all in with you as soon as you left the diner."

"Hey I never actually _said_ that to him, I only ever _implied_ that he might be getting a little blow action if I was sufficiently furnished with bloody marys," Eleanor defends herself.

"Really fucking helpful Eleanor," Jasper snaps back. "And now my face is going to look like a shitshow tomorrow."

They've reached the car and Jasper starts unlocking it, then Eleanor slides into the passenger seat opposite.

"So now that I've picked you up, _your Highness_ , you'll need to tell me what the hell you're doing in the middle of nowhere with no security. And it better be fucking good," he adds.

Eleanor swallows, because he makes it sound as if what she comes up with isn't believable enough, he's going to pick up his phone and call Royal security. And then her bloody mother will get involved.

Eleanor fiddles with the seatbelt as she starts to give him the story she prepared earlier. "Well, you see I was visiting a friend over here, and I left my security behind because he's always so annoying you see, he's not a good security person, he's always telling me what I can't do -" she drops that in there to make Jasper think he's better than her current security to get him on side, "anyway we were sort of on a road trip and then we had an argument and I asked to be dropped off at the diner and to make my own arrangements to get back to Las Vegas."

Eleanor turns to him and gives him her best persuasive smile, "and then that's where you came in because I need to get back to the city and,"

"I'm just not buying this story, Princess," Jasper interrupts her as he starts the engine. "I mean why didn't you just call your own security to come and get you?"

Eleanor blinks and considers for a moment. "Well because its late and it would be rude to ask them to come out here so late at night. But I know that you don't mind late nights Jasper. God knows you had enough of them while you were so proficiently guarding my body. And then my mothers of course," she adds, snapping.

Jasper shakes his head but keeps his hands on the wheel. "Still not buying your story Princess," he tells her with certainty.

Eleanor decides to ignore him this time and just huffs loudly.

Jasper puts his foot to the floor and the black night of the Vegas desert passes by in a blur.

"You know what I really need," Eleanor starts as she stares pensively out the window. She doesn't wait for Jasper to reply before she speaks again. "A joint. I really, really need a joint, washed down with lots of alcohol," she rests her head against the seat as she imagines the hit running through her veins, into her bloodstream.

She turns to Jasper, "you know what we should do in vegas?"

"What?" Jasper questions back.

"We should do exactly what everyone else does. Get drunk, get high and go lose some money," she tells him. In her head she's already certain that this is exactly what they should do. If rehab security's coming for her in the morning she's going to make sure she has a bloody good time tonight before they lock her back up again.

Jasper's face is already beginning to ache from the punch he sustained earlier and sitting next to Eleanor again feels dangerous and intoxicating and he's having trouble thinking straight.

There's a silence for a minute while Jasper makes up his mind.

"Fuck it, let's do Vegas," he announces and then Eleanor turns to him and for the first time that evening she's actually smiling at him.


	3. Chapter 3

When she wakes up, her head is pounding, her vision is blurry and there's something heavy draped over on her waist.

It takes her several minutes to move, because her body and her head are protesting too much at even the effort required to move an inch.

It's only when she's sufficiently alert to work out _whose_ arm it is draped over her naked body that she gets the momentum to actually move.

Yes. She, Eleanor Henstridge, mere Princess of England, but Queen of poor life choices, has apparently let her criminal, con artist, two timing, mother fucking ex bodyguard wannabe boyfriend screw her over one more drunken time.

She hazily recalls her escape from rehab, calling Jasper to come and pick her up, and her alcohol influenced decision, which with the benefit of hindsight clearly wasn't the wisest course of action, to 'do' vegas with the said ex con. She groans at the realisation, then drags back the bed covers and reluctantly pulls herself to her feet.

She stumbles over her shoes as she tries to locate her underwear and she scowls when she eventually finds it strewn across the floor of the living room, with Jasper's jeans and T shirt.

Her mini skirt is nearer the kitchen, along with her singlet. She pulls on her clothes hastily, noting there are a couple of bottles of alcohol scattered around the room, and the scent of weed lingers in the air. Intriguingly, there's a sequinned, skimpy vegas showgirl costume dumped on the floor and glitter has been embedded into the carpet where it sparkles in the morning sun. Her eye catches on the microwave clock which says 1.42, and she now realises that its not the morning sun, but the _afternoon_ sun. Eleanor groans again when she sees it and dramatically throws herself on the couch.

After spending the next ten minutes lying on the couch feeling sorry for herself, she eventually gets up the energy to go in search of something to stop her head from aching.

She's rattling round in Jasper's bathroom, pulling out his draws and fossicking around looking for some painkillers, when the man himself darkens the door.

"What are you doing?" he demands, looking annoyed at the mess she's making.

Eleanor glances up at him. His hair looks dishevelled, he sounds as hungover as she feels, but still standing there in only a pair of boxers, he is still ridiculously, irritatingly, hot as hell. Damn him. And obviously wholly and irrefutably the cause of her present _situation._

"I'm looking for some painkillers. Why is it you have three types of aftershave, four dozen condoms, and every type of hair product under the sun but no bloody aspirin?" Eleanor snaps.

"I like my hair done a particular way," Jasper replies defensively, folding his arms across his chest. "And women like me. What can I say, I'm irresistible. You proved that yourself last night," Jasper adds, smirking.

He doesn't tell her that every girl he brings back to his apartment is the same - slender, long legs, long dark hair, green eyes. He doesn't tell her that one time, one drunken time, he even called one of them by her name. Eleanor. Causing her to slap him on the face and storm out of his apartment, slamming the door after her. And what's worse he almost ran after her, not because of her, but because she reminded him even more of his Princess afterwards.

He takes two steps over to the cabinet, pulls out a draw and takes a packet of tablets without comment. He disappears into the kitchen then comes back with a glass of water and passes her the glass and the tablets.

Eleanor takes them and swallows the pill then washes it down with a glass of water. "Thank you," she tells him, taken back by his sudden gesture of humanity.

Jasper nods his head slightly, his face impassive as ever. "I guess we should get some breakfast," he decides.

"Lunch," Eleanor corrects. "It's nearly two o'clock," she tells him.

"Fucking hell," Jasper replies, scowling, "Last night must have been worse than I thought."

Eleanor nods. "There's a showgirl costume in the lounge, glitter all over the floor and plus a few alcohol bottles about the place. And I don't really want to find out any more about we did. I mean its bad enough that I did _you_ again for a start," she adds rudely.

"Hey," Jasper protests crossly, "you could do a lot worse than me in this town, you know."

Eleanor rolls her eyes. "Yes well this town is infamous as a cesspool of vice and criminality, so yes I probably could do worse than you around here. But that's not saying very much Jas-pah. And now if you don't mind, I think I shall get myself some lunch," she adds, pulling herself to her feet in one swift movement.

Her head is starting to clear, and now she's feeling suddenly ravenous.

Jasper stands aside to let her make her way to the kitchen, a smirk starting to form on his face.

His thoughts are confirmed as Eleanor starts to bang her way around the kitchen, opening the fridge several times and pulling random things out of it. Taking a pot out of the cupboard, then a frypan and then a cheese grater. What the hell she plans to do with that he has no idea because there's no cheese nearby or anything else that can be grated.

In the six months he spent at the Palace he had never seen the Princess cook, or show any indication she had any domestic skills whatsoever. And seeing her roam around the kitchen now it's clear that she has no fucking idea what she's doing.

He's thinking about getting some popcorn to watch the show, but after a couple of minutes he decides to take pity on her.

"Yeah, so if you're going to cook bacon you do that in a frypan not a pot," he announces, getting up and moving over to where she's standing by the stovetop.

He grabs the frypan and sets it on top of the element. "Put the bacon down here," he tells her, indicating the spot in the middle of the pan.

Eleanor steps over to him and dumps the bacon where he points.

"Now we leave this for a couple of minutes, and let it sizzle until it starts to turn brown and then flip it over," he tells her.

Eleanor's taking in this information carefully, in silence. "It's spitting a bit," she tells him, observing the hiss and spatter it gives off.

"That's normal," Jasper assures her. "It always -"

Before he can finish conveying the rest of his knowledge on the topic of cooking bacon, he's interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

Eleanor raises an eyebrow, while Jasper moves to answer the door.

Standing outside are three burly men in navy security uniforms, with impassive faces and a vaguely menacing demeanor.

"Excuse me sir, but we believe that Princess Eleanor Henstridge may be in your house and we need to resume custody of the Princess," one of them announces.

Jasper's tempted to deny the Princess is in his house, except that she's turned towards the doorway and is staring at the visitors, open mouthed.

One of the spots her in the corner, and pushes open the door, entering the house.

"Princess, you need to come with us, we need to return you to the Palm Oasis Rehabilitation Centre and Spa," he tells her, stomping his way across the room, as the two other guards push their way into the house.

"Jesus Eleanor, so you're in vegas because you've escaped from rehab?" Jasper's eyebrows shoot up to the sky as he puts two and two together to make the shitstorm that is presently reigning down on his house.

In the kitchen the Princess is standing her ground.

"Not bloody likely," she counters, determined to resist their threat to take her back to that hellhole as she picks up a pair of tongs and wields them in front of her.

From behind, Jasper slides his hand under the couch to extract one of several revolver's he hides around his apartment for any unexpected situations that may occur. But this really this takes the cake. He supposes he should have expected something like this as soon as Eleanor Henstridge set foot in his house again.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for your reviews, I really appreciate them, more shenanigans below..._

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"Maam, er Princess, you need to drop the kitchen implement and return with us to the centre," the security guard is edging closer towards her step by step.

"Also the centre staff would really appreciate it if you didn't mention this incident to the media or the Queen," he adds, sounding slightly sheepish.

"Its _Your Highness_ ," Eleanor corrects him. "And I will not be dropping the kitchen implement and I will also not be returning to that bloody centre!," she adds, and she's never sounded more certain. Eleanor waves the tongs at him, threateningly.

"Now, Maam, I mean your Highness, there's no need to get agitated, if everyone stays calm I'm sure we can work this out peacefully," the man takes another step closer to her.

"Put down your gun," from the side of the room, Jasper suddenly has his gun trained on the man attempting to talk Eleanor into returning to rehab.

The man turns, looking shocked towards Jasper, but his colleague is quicker and draws his weapon, so that Jasper and the security guard both have their guns trained on each other, eyeballing each other down.

"Drop the guns," there's the sound of the clatter of boots as two pairs of boots enter the apartment and now there's two uniformed police officers on the scene. "And also the tongs," the police officer adds, looking towards Eleanor in the kitchen.

Both officers have their guns drawn on Jasper and the security guard, one on each of them. Jasper and the guard both reluctantly drop their guns to the ground and put their hands in the air. Eleanor still clinging to the tongs.

"Las Vegas PD," the Police officer announces, unnecessarily, as his uniform and badge has already clearly visible.

"We're here for one Jasper Frost, vehicle license registration number 557- HKM. We have reason to believe that's you sir," he adds, as his face is a match to the security footage.

Jasper gives a quick nod.

"Sir we are placing you under arrest for the assault of a patron at Jim's Diner last night," the officer starts as the other officer approaches him and starts to place the cuffs on his wrists.

"You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish," the officer drones on as Jasper is cuffed, scowling angrily, while Eleanor looks on shocked, until she decides its time to intervene.

"Officers, do I look at all familiar to you?," Eleanor questions, from the kitchen.

The officers pause and look back at her, confused. "No maam," one of them replies.

"Well I should," Eleanor tells him. "Because my name is Eleanor Henstridge, _Princess_ Eleanor Henstridge, you know daughter of the Queen of England," she pauses as the realisation dawns on their faces and then continues, "And I imagine that arresting my companion Mr Frost here is going to cause something of a diplomatic incident so you might want to rethink your course of action because-,"

Eleanor doesn't get a chance to finish her sentence before she's interrupted by three more new arrivals entering the apartment.

Three men in suits step inside the apartment. One flashes his badge. "Agent Tyler, FBI. We're here on official business," he announces.

"Officers," the FBI agent greets the two policemen, "what brings you here?" he questions.

"Warrant for the arrest of Mr Jasper Frost," he points to Jasper, "for assault. What are you fellas doing here?"

The agent turns to the Princess and then Mr Frost. "We've had an official communication from the Queen that you're to be kept under house arrest."

Eleanor rolls her eyes. "That bloody woman just cannot stop interfering in my life, even from a thousand miles away," she spits out.

She peers around the room dramatically, "well are we all done here or are we waiting for the CIA to make an appearance? I have to warn you however that we simply cannot fit any more members of the Las Vegas law enforcement community into this apartment. And it really isn't helping that your apartment _is_ unreasonably small, Jasper," she adds, crossly.

Jasper shoots a withering glance back at her, "It's only because you've been living in a Palace so large you don't even know where the back door is, that you would say that, your Highness. My apartment is normal sized for Las Vegas," he says, defending his living arrangements.

The CIA agent looks towards the Police. "This is a diplomatic incident. we're assuming control of the situation. You boys can knock off," he tells them, nodding, then turns to security guards. "And I'm not sure what your involvement here is but I'm requesting you leave the scene also now we've assumed custody of these two."

The Police Officers turn to leave the apartment and the security guards follow behind them, looking annoyed they're not returning with the runaway Princess.

Once they've left the building, the second of the two agents opens his mouth to speak for the first time.

"Queen Helena has asked me to inform you that she is now on her way to visit you both, and that, in her own words neither of you are to move an inch or say a bloody thing until she arrives. Her secretary will be intercepting any communciations or social media you post to make sure that only authorised messages are issued," he adds.

Eleanor steps closer to the agent, fuming, and grabs her phone. "Yes well, I appreciate your telling me this. And now I'm going to tell her she can piss off," she adds angrily, reaching for her phone to start texting her.

She scrolls through her messages and sees four in succession from her mother. She opens the first one and is about to start replying, but takes two seconds to scan it first.

 _What is the meaning of this? You better have a bloody good explanation Eleanor!_

The message has a hyperlink underneath it and Eleanor clicks through to find out what her latest misdemeanour is.

It takes her to Daily Mail website, where Eleanor takes in the photo with mounting horror.

There's a picture of her and Jasper standing together with Eleanor wearing the same outfit she's standing in now but with a veil. They're surrounded by half a dozen strangers holding cans of bear and cheering. Jasper has his lips pressed against hers, dipping her down to the ground and somewhere is holding up a 'Just married' sign behind them.

"Uh- oh," Eleanor whispers, sounding terrified as she looks up at Jasper. "Did we get _married_ last night _?_ Shit, Mum is going to bloody kill me. And its going to be slow and painful."


	5. Chapter 5

"There's no way we got married last night," Jasper declares, assuming control of Eleanor's phone with one quick grab.

"Errm, we'll just step outside now and be there if you require our services," one of the FBI agents tells them both, not wanting to be caught in the middle of a domestic argument. The other two agents follow him outside.

Jasper studies Eleanor's phone carefully. "Hmm well it is concerning, but its not conclusive proof we actually got hitched. There could be some other explanation," he offers. "Like as usual you were on a dozen different drugs and decided it would be funny to pretend we got married."

Eleanor both scowls and clutches on to straw he's just offered. "You're the one who's kissing me in the photo," she tells him. "But yes I agree it could just be a joke. Just a crazy joke. The newspaper should really change their headline," she adds, taking back her phone and narrowing her eyes as she scans it again. "Royally hitched in Vegas my ass," she mutters.

She's still scanning the story when there's a sharp knock at the door, and she jumps. "Jesus is that Mum already? Dear God she is going to be terrifying," she whimpers, mentally preparing herself for a scene.

"Delivery for Princess Eleanor," one of the FBI agents announces.

Jasper pulls open the door, while Eleanor cowers inside, still not convinced its not some kind of ruse to let her mother in.

Instead of the Queen of England, an adorable puppy is deposited on the doorstep where he sits looking up at both of them.

Eleanor pushes past Jasper excitedly. "Prince Rufus! You came!," she exclaims, a huge smile gracing her face.

The youngest of the CIA agents steps forward, _"_ It's ok Ma'am we've inspected it and we are now satisfied that its of canine origin and not a bomb or a parcel containing explosives or explosive components designated for terrorist activities. I don't consider it to be flammable either."

Jasper eyeballs him, keeping a studiously blank face. "Thanks for that," he replies drolly. Now that the package has been opened any moron can see that its a puppy not a serurity threat, but apparently the CIA is taking their role making untimely security information announcements to Princess Eleanor very seriously.

"Of course Prince Rufus isn't flammable, are you?" Eleanor tells the tiny puppy, picking him up in her arms and cradling him carefully. "He's just very, very cute. But how did he know to come here? And how did he get here from England on his own?," Eleanor wonders alound, still enthralled in the new arrival who she hasn't taken her eyes off. Two dimples have appeared on either side of her face as she grins at the puppy.

Jasper reaches forward and grabs the box sitting by the door which he came in and scrutinises the receipt.

"Although he does look almost identical to the puppy you attempted to abduct from a London animal shelter while on ecstacy his name is actually Mr Scruffs," he announces, "and he came from Animal Associates in San Francisco. That's according to the bill enclosed and the $644 charge on _my_ _Visa_ itemised as puppy adoption fee $60, puppy vaccinations $99, puppy accessories $345, express first class delivery fee $139," Jasper's scowl intensifies as he reads through the list of charges.

"He does have a very nice collar," Eleanor offers, as she examines his jewel encrusted throat. "And look at his little suit jacket! It looks like something from McQueen," she adds as she glances at his box. "Anyway he's worth every penny. I'm going to call him Prince Rufus after Prince Rufus the first," she decides.

"And I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark here and assume that this is somehow your doing. Your _drunken_ doing," Jasper adds with emphasis. "And maybe since I didn't agree to purchase the puppy plus all of his ridiculous accessories and he is mine since you seem to have managed to illegally gotten hold of my credit card we should send him back."

"What, no!" Eleanor protests immediately. "You can't send him back Jasper, he's _family."_ Eleanor puts the puppy up to Jasper's face. "I wuv you Jasper," she coos.

Jasper rolls his eyes. "Not working, Princess."

"Anyway we can sort the puppy out later but I think we should turn our attention back to the bigger issues at hand. Like whether we actually got so fucking wasted we got married and don't remember it or not," Jasper announces decisively.

"Yes, you should look into that while I get Prince Rufus something to eat from your inconveniently small kitchen," Eleanor tells him, heading for the kitchen. She starts ransacking through his cupboards, while Jasper does his best to ignore her muttered complaints about the quality of his tinned goods.

Two minutes later Jasper's standing in front of her holding up his phone, now on a different news website.

"In breaking news they've located our marriage certificate," he announces. Eleanor grabs the phone and peers at the photo and scrutinises it carefully.

"Uh-oh that does look a lot like my signature," she whispers back, barely breathing at the news. "And also your signature."

She scrolls down further to see fresh photos have been loaded.

"Jesus, is that our marriage celebrant," she questions, shocked.

"Yes Elvis has left the building and was apparently busy officiating at our wedding," Jasper confirms.

"And my bridesmaid was a crossdressing vegas showgirl, while your best man looks like he crawled out of a skip and is only being held upright by Elvis. It's not the most _tasteful_ ceremony ever."

"Nope," Jasper tells her, definately.

"Why the hell would they let us get married when we're clearly very drunk and on a _lot_ of drugs?" Eleanor questions.

Jasper's reply comes back in two words. "It's Vegas. _Everyone_ who gets married is either very drunk or on a lot of drugs," he adds helpfully.

Eleanor furrows her brow in return. "I'm not sure that media interest in this is going to die down soon," she adds, with immense understatement.

"Not bloody likely," Jasper agrees.

"Do they do drive through divources here?" Eleanor wonders aloud.

"They do drive through everything else, but not divources," Jasper tells her.

"Dammit so we're just going to have to stay married for the time being then. But when Mum arrives she will no doubt be lawyered up and then we can arrange everything. Maybe its not even legal to be as hammered as we were and get married," she adds hopefully.

"But just to be clear if this accidental drunken travesty of a marriage is somehow legal, I want Prince Rufus in our divource settlement," she adds, laying out her terms.

Jasper eyeballs her back and there's a long pause before he speaks. And if she wasn't already on the floor his next words would have knocked her flat in shock.

"I've decided I don't want to get divorced."


	6. Chapter 6

"Did I hear you correctly, you _don't want to get divorced_?" Eleanor repeats, and her expression is already dangerous.

Jasper doesn't say a word, only nods.

"Well, let me explain something to _you_ , Jasper from Shoreditch, and Camden and most recently, of Las Vegas," her face is darkening as she narrows her gaze. "A drunken night out where both of us were evidently completely off our faces, and as a result where we were married in a Las Vegas quickwed chapel by an overweight Mexican pretending to be Elvis, accompanied by a drag queen showgirl bridesmaid and an alcoholic lush of a best man is not _the_ most auspicious start to married life," she tells him, putting her hands on her hips.

"And the future of our alleged marriage is going to look even less promising once Mum arrives accompanied by a posse of lawyers and her PR woman to try and undo this as quickly as possible. So I would suggest that you get rid of whatever notions you have in your head that if we stay married for a while longer it is going to end in your getting your hands on more of the Henstridge inheritance, very quickly. No doubt you will get some settlement but I will not be staying married to you just so you can get your hands on my money. Or my mother, if that's what you're thinking," she adds, scowling angrily.

"That's not the reason I don't want a divorce," Jasper denies hotly, and it comes out so vehemently Eleanor looks up at him, startled.

Jasper runs a hand through his hair, and sweat trickles down his back and he curses the vegas heat.

"I mean, now that we're married, I think that we should at least _try_ to see if this could work."

Eleanor shakes her head in quick denial. "As soon as Mum gets here with the lawyers _we are getting a divorce._ And that's the end of that," she snaps.

She's about to add some further choice words about what will be the remarkable brevity of their marriage when she's interrupted by her phone ringing.

She scans it carefully to check its not her mother about to chew off her ear and is relieved to find it isn't her number.

"Yes," she answers, annoyed at the interruption.

"Hey girlfriend, how you doing? How's that hunk of yours, still as sexy as ever?," the voice asks, fawning.

"Excuse me do I know you?," Eleanor replies, her eyebrows knotting together. Not only does she not know the caller but she's having trouble working out if its even a man or a woman she's talking to.

"It's me. Gigi," the voice comes, back sounding offended. "You know, from last night. Your maid of honour darling," she prompts.

"Oh," understanding is starting to dawn. "So you're the showgirl who was there at the wedding?"

"Of Risqué Caberet," Gigi tells her. "Las Vegas' finest girls on show."

Eleanor pauses, because going by her wedding photos, that's debateable.

"Listen Gigi, me and my, er, _husband_ ," she mutters and looks daggers at Jasper, "got a little carried away last night and couldn't recall everything that happened and we were wondering if you could fill us in on it," Eleanor asks politely, thinking that she's going to need Gigi's account of how drunk they both were to streamline the divorce proceedings.

"Girlfriend, you know you can count on me. I'll pop by your house on my way to work in a half hour. Love you darling," she signs off with a flourish.

"Do you need directions to get here,?" Eleanor asks, because she's going to have to pass her to Jasper for that as she has no fucking idea where Jasper's apartment is located.

"I know it like the back of my skin tight sequinned feather boa dancing costume," comes the reply.

"Er, ok then," Eleanor replies, trying not to imagine that picture in her head again.

Jasper's sitting at the couch on his phone once she looks up from getting off the phone. "Our new BFF Gigi the drag queen is coming over to shed some light on what the hell went down last night," she tells him.

A flicker of interest flashes across Jasper's face. "That will be illuminating. But I've been checking my bank statement and one thing that has gone down is my bank balance. It's gone from $5,487 to zero overnight after there were five withdrawals last night and this morning at Stratosphere," he tells Eleanor, with more than a hint of accusation in his voice.

"Oh," Eleanor's face is a picture of innocence. "Well I'm sure you'll recoup your losses in our divorce settlement. And some," she bites, because no one ever married royalty and came away worse off afterwards.

Jasper raises an eyebrow, "Like I said earlier, I'm not signing the divorce papers," he says stubbornly.

"Are you doing this just to piss me off?," Eleanor demands, "because if you want this marriage to end with me stabbling you with a kitchen implement, you are going the right way about it," she steams, jabbing a finger against his chest.

He catches her hand as it reaches her chest and then grabs her other wrist in his hand, vice like, and then she is being pulled towards him, into his chest and his voice is sharp, "Eleanor," he growls, warningly and she falls suddenly silent as he's watching her intently, angrily.

"Eleanor," he says again, but this time softer and gentler, as his grip on her tightens and he slides his arms around her back, pressing her close into him until his face is only a few millimetres from his and she wonders, breathlessly, if he is going to kiss her.

A series of tiny barks emanates from the kitchen, breaking the moment and Eleanor goes rigid in his arms and puts a hand up to his chest, pushing him away from her.

"Prince Rufus is hungry and he doesn't like it when people shout," she tells him, turning away to make for the kitchen where she fixes him some tuna and puts out a bowl of water.

She pulls open the cupboards again and scrutinises them carefully one more time. "We'll need to get him some proper puppy food," she adds, making a note to ask if the CIA agents can arrange this.

She makes her way over to the chair opposite where Jasper is sitting, doing her best to ignore the way he is still looking at her, because she is done falling for that sexy, stubbly scoundrel.

She picks up her phone and pulls up her twitter account, then spends a minute scrolling through her newsfeed.

"We are apparently on twitter as well. And you're in an interesting choice of costume," she tells him, as her lips form into a smirk.

Two seconds later he's behind her, leaning down to grab her phone, and she ignores the shiver which runs down her body as he brushes against her shoulder.

He lets out a string of curses.

"Yes I do rather wonder _why_ you are dressed like a crossdressing prostitute Jasper? Were you trying to recover your gambling losses?," she questions, the very same smirk now firmly embedded on her face.

"It's a Vegas showgirl outfit and I'm pretty sure they're _your_ gambling losses, Princess," he snaps back. "And anyway _you're_ the one who looks like a prostitute in that photo," he adds rudely.

"Those are my _normal_ clothes Jasper," Eleanor sounds thoroughly offended. "In case you hadn't noticed Las Vegas is like some kind of fucking inferno, I don't want to be too covered up, I would fry," she adds, defending her choice of a skimpy miniskirt and skin tight singlet. The same outfit she is currently sporting while draped over his couch.

She's turned around and she's glaring back up at him, and he gives her a look up and down that turns her legs to jelly. "Well if you're too hot Princess, you're free to take your clothes off again. I'm always happy to fulfil my responsibilities as your husband," he tells her, running a hand down her arm in a slow caress.

She's half tempted to stay exactly where she is and let him keep lulling her back into submission to allow him to keep touching her, but she reminds herself that she's already made enough bad decisions in the past twenty four hours to give her mother fuel for a lifetime and she's not going to let Jasper Frost, now her bloody _husband_ , be one more.

She stands up and puts her hands on her hips and sets him straight. "Very soon you won't be my husband any more. And then we will be able to put this whole sordid incident behind us and move on with our own separate lives. And the sooner you accept that Jasper Frost, the better for both of us."


	7. Chapter 7

Their newest and bestest friend, apparently, from last night shows up precisely twenty five minutes later in all her sequenned, sparkly glory.

Eleanor blinks when she enters the room because she's also wearing hot pink and when its combined with the sparkle from the afternoon sunlight, its giving off a glare.

"Hello darlings. Gigi's here - let the party begin," she announces.

Both Eleanor and Jasper stare back at her, still stunned by her dramatic appearance.

When she steps out of the light and into the shade Eleanor has a chance to take in her outfit. Not only is the costume bright enough to light up a city, she's wearing five inch stillettos, huge false eyelashes, and there's a fake parakeet perched on her shoulder like some weird echo of pirates past.

"Is that a fruit salad on your head?" Eleanor questions, her brow furrowed.

Gigi nods and proudly twirls around to display it from all angles.

"Is it edible?" Eleanor asks, curiously.

"Depends who's asking," Gigi replies slyly. "If this hunk of a man right here were to ask, I'd say yes."

She turns to Jasper and winks. "Anything for you darling."

Jasper's normally impassive face mask drops for a moment and his face takes on a mixture of terror and horror. "I'm not hungry," he declares abruptly. "Just ate right now," he adds definitely.

"Wow, so you have to wear that outfit every evening. That must take a bit of time to put together," Eleanor offers.

"No. This is daywear. I only change into my costume at work," Gigi informs them both as Eleanor stares back at her wide-eyed.

Gigi decides to make herself at home and strolls over to the couch and drapes herself onto it.

"Some of those CIA agents you have outside are mighty cute. Something I told them as they were frisking me outside," she informs them. "I haven't had such a good time with the law for well over a month," she adds.

Eleanor decides to let that one go because she's afraid to ask. She collects herself enough to remember why she asked Gigi here in the first place. She takes a couple of steps forward and sits herself opposite Gigi.

Jasper maintains a safe distance, learning against the kitchen bench, watching Gigi warily.

"Gigi can you tell us what we got up to last night. Apparently we both got incredibly drunk and as a result of that I suffered a huge lapse in judgement and allowed this," she waves a hand towards Jasper, "scoundrel of questionable origins to marry me."

Jasper raises his eyebrows and glares at Eleanor, but she's looking right at Gigi and deliberately ignores him.

"Well," Gigi leans forward conspiratorially. "The first time I met you both was at Stratospehere and you were both quite drunk and also nearly broke. That was shortly after you were kicked out of the high rollers room and then you were playing the pokies. You both had a dare going that everytime a cherry came up on screen you would take a shot. And believe me there were a lot of cherries coming up there," she adds. "The next thing that happened was -"

Gigi is interrupted by Prince Rufus trotting over to where she and Eleanor are seated and looking up at them both.

"Oh this must be the puppy you brought online. Isn't he just adorable," Gigi coos.

It only takes Prince Rufus a few seconds longer before he spies something intriguing and starts attacking one of the tassels hanging from Gigi's legs.

"No Prince Rufus," Eleanor scolds, and reaches forward to grab the little dog. "You can't eat Gigi's dress. Its not for puppies. You sit with me here," she tells him and sits him on her lap. "Please continue," she tells Gigi, mentally bracing herself for more.

"Well then after that you went to find something to eat and then you came to visit backstage at my work. Only you had problems getting there and we had to stop on the sidewalk so you could vomit. Some of which went onto the ground and some of which ended up on passing Japanese tourist," Gigi informs Eleanor.

Gigi gestures to herself with a flourish, "Myself I don't speak Japanese but I'm pretty sure I am now fluent in some colourful terms that would be considered impolite in good Japanese society."

"Uh-oh," Eleanor breaths. "I hope that tourist doesn't recognise me and end up going to the media. Because I _really_ don't need things to get any worse."

Gigi shrugs. "I don't think Royalty is big in Japan. Hopefully. So anyway once you got to my work my new friend Len tried on one of our outfits. You looked fabulous darling," she adds, gushing.

"Naturally," Eleanor replies back, modestly.

"And then you also dared Jasper to wear one of our showgirl costumes and at the time you both thought it was a great idea," she tells them, looking from one to the other.

Jasper's still finding that hard to swallow. But unfortunately there's photographic proof that apparently, yes, he was drunk enough to think that it would be amusing to dress like a showgirl. He's not sure whether at any stage of proceedings he also donned a fruit salad on his head but he's not about to pose that question.

Gigi lowers her voice dramatically. "And it was after that that _it_ happened."

Eleanor looks puzzled. "What happened?"

"That Jasper proposed and you accepted. Oh it was so romantic," Gigi clasps her hands together wistfully. "Jasper said that you were the only one he'd ever loved and he wanted you to be his forever, if you would accept him. And you accepted and said that you loved him too and he was the only one for you. And then Len asked me to be her bridesmaid and we all went off to the quickiwed and they told you you needed another witness so Jasper found some drunk who was lying on the pavement to be his best man and paid him ten dollars which he wanted to spend on booze and you had the budget express wedding because you were flat broke from gambling and Len got the $5.99 veil and you choose the Elvis rather than the fake priest or rabbi and it was just _so romantic_. I cried right throughout the ceremony," she added, dabbing her eyes delicately with her handkerchief as her eyes get bright with tears from the memories.

Eleanor's still taking this all in. "But given that we were clearly far, far too drunk to be deciding to get married, did no one think to stop us?" she argues, eyeballing Gigi.

"Yes you were drunk," Gigi acknowledges. "But you had spent all night being all over each other like a nasty rash and you were both so ridiculously besotted with each other. I thought - well who am I to stand in the way of true love?" she questions dramatically.

Both Eleanor and Jasper have been listening to this in silence. Jasper with a furrowed brow and Eleanor with her arms crossed across her chest. Eventually Eleanor gets up. "Last night was a huge mistake and the only reason any of it happened was because we were too drunk to think straight. What happened was _not_ indicative of us being in love, just very, very drunk," she declares. "Gigi, Jasper and I are getting a divorce and I'm going to need your account of the night for the lawyers. I expect they'll be in contact with you tomorrow," she tells her.

Gigi gets up gracefully. "Well of course I'll tell them what happened. I just hope you two can try and work things out first. Because from what I saw last night you're both made for each other. Anyway I must run or I'll be late for work," she announces.

She steps into Eleanor and kisses her three times on different sides. "Love you darling," she enthuses.

She takes a step towards Jasper who retreats further back into the kitchen and places his hand squarely on his gun. "I'm pretty sure I caught something nasty from the Princess last night. Best to keep your distance," he advises her with a solemn face. "Be seeing you," he declares, pre-empting any kisses.

As soon as Gigi is out the door, Eleanor announces she's still feeling the effects of last night and she's going to lie down. "And as yours is the only bed in this apartment I'll be borrowing it for now. But that's not an invitation to join me," she adds, warningly.

Jasper raises his eyebrows slightly. "Fair enough. You can warm it up and I'll join you later," he tells her, deliberately provoking her.

"I don't _think_ so," Eleanor shoots back, giving him a rebellious glare, then stalks out of the lounge.

Jasper takes a few minutes to wander around the apartment and attempt to restore some order after the chaos of last night.

Then he settles himself on the couch and decides to order some pizza. After he's put the phone down, he's pulls open the fridge to get himself a beer and is halfway through pouring it when there is a sharp rap at the door.

He heads for the door and pulls it open to reveal none other than the Queen of England, accompanied by her secretary and two serious suited gentleman.

"Good afternoon," she declares. "Regrettably my reprobate daughter has really outdone herself this time and as a result of her drunken antics apparently I now have you as a son in law."

Jasper's still staring at her with the door half open.

"You may now welcome me inside," Helena prompts. "Given that these unfortunate circumstances make us family," she adds sourly.

Jasper pulls open the door and then disappears off for a second while the Queen stares at him, irritated by his total disregard for protocol.

A minute later he returns with her daughter following behind him, a look of something between fear and defiance written all over her face.

"I see you've brought a delegation," Eleanor starts, nodding towards Rachel and the suits and not bothering to greet her mother.

Helena nods grimly and holds up a DVD. "Unfortunately that's not all I've brought with me. This item which I'm holding in my hands has a street value of 2 million pounds."

Eleanor's looking back at her confused as she wonders if someone managed to capture their wedding ceremony on camera. "What is it?," she questions.

"This is a sex tape involving the both of you captured at 3am last night behind a service station," Helena announces. "As befits the characters involved the camera quality is somewhat cheap but unfortunately its all too clear _who_ is involved and _what_ exactly you are doing."

Eleanor stares at her open mouthed. "Uh-oh. Bloody hell this had better not go viral."

* * *

 _Thanks for your continued reviews everyone._

 _This story was actually inspired by a famous movie and an episode of a famous TV show. There is also a song that fits it really well._

 _Would be interested to see if anyone can guess what they are - there may be some others other than the ones I was thinking of which also fit._


	8. Chapter 8

"Quite right Eleanor," Helena echoes disapprovingly and for once the Queen and her daughter agree.

"You had better bloody hope this doesn't go viral because while the monarchy may survive your escaping rehab, getting ridiculously drunk and marrying a commonborn ex colonial pauper with a distinctly shady past," and here Helena pauses to casts a disparaging glance at her new son in law who glares back at her stoicly, "it may very well NOT survive having your sex tape splashed all over the internet for every grubby chav to leer at," she continues, pacing across the room. "NINE hundred years our family has reigned for. And to think that it could all come to an end simply because one foolish, wilful little girl cannot keep her legs together in public. Princesses do not get married in Vegas by Elvis impersonators, Princesses do not get drunk and vomit all over public streets, and Princesses most certainly do not feature on sex tapes at seedy service stations. I despair of you," Helena declares, abruptly turning and dramatically throwing her hands in the air.

"The only redeeming factor is that at least your father isn't here to see your disgrace," Helena adds one final cutting blow. She doesn't miss the way her daughter's lip quivers at the mention of her late, great father.

It takes her a moment to recover herself and Eleanor is surprised to find Jasper silently snake his hand around the small of her back, unobserved by her mother. There's something strangely comforting about the gesture and at first she lets him until she's suddenly reminded of the irony of being comforted over a public sex tape by the very man who blackmailed her into sex with a non existent sex tape. And then screwed the woman standing in front of her. She pushes Jasper's hands away from her and steps to the side.

A knock at the door interrupts their conversation and Jasper gets up to open it.

A pizza delivery man is standing at the door with a large box. "Hawaain?" he questions.

"Yup," Jasper confirms.

From behind a CIA agent steps forward. "It's ok sir, Maam, and er Queen Maam," he adds, looking at the Queen, clearly unsure how he should address her. "We have thoroughly inspected the delivery and can confirm its mainly composed of wheat and cheese, with a tomato based spread and a sprinkling of ham and pineapple. It doesn't contain any explosive items or flammable substances or otherwise evidence of terrorist activity," he assures them all in a deadly serious tone.

"It's a fucking pizza," Jasper tells him, despairing. "Not a delivery vehicle for Al Queda's most wanted."

"You can never be too careful," comes the reply, again delivered with a totally straight face.

While Jasper reaches down to get his wallet, he makes the mistake of putting the pizza on the low side table, and turning his back.

"Aww Prince Rufus likes cheese," Eleanor observes, her face crinkling into a smile as the puppy drags the pizza box onto the ground, pushes the box up with his nose and takes a slice away. "And ham."

Jasper turns to observe this, a scowl crossing his face.

"Wait, if I have a slice too, does this make this our _wedding breakfast_?" Eleanor asks as she considers the implications.

Helena takes control of the situation, commandingly. "Can we stop talking about bloody pizza. Jasper just pay the delivery man so he can go," she waves at both of them dismissively as Jasper hands over a ten dollar note.

As soon as the door is shut she continues, "And now we need to turn our attention once again to your unfortunate and ill considered sex tape."

"Hmm. Were we legally married at the time? I mean that's something," Eleanor asks eventually. She's grasping at straws and until now being married to Jasper seemed clearly a horrible mistake, but in this situation it could prove somewhat redeeming, at least until they can get their hasty divorce.

"Unfortunately not. Rachel has already viewed the tape and its apparently timed at 3.30am whereas your wedding license which I had to view on the internet unlike any normal parent who would have been invited to the wedding was timed at 4.45am," Helena replies coolly.

"If you wanted to be invited to the wedding perhaps you should have taken that into account _before_ screwing the groom," Eleanor bites back, sharply.

Helena blinks but elects not to reply, while Jasper shifts beside Eleanor uncomfortably. "You really have to let that go," he mutters.

Eleanor shoots him a cutting look. "Oh _really_ Jasper, now _I_ have to let that go because, now inconveniently you find the woman you were shagging is your _mother in law_?'

Helena snaps, putting a stop to their bickering before it can escalate any further. "That's enough, both of you. At the moment I have purchased this sordid exhibit at a cost of 2 million pounds. 2 million pounds I might add I have withdrawn from your inheritance Eleanor in order to shell out to a hustling Las Vegas gas station employee with extremely poor body odour and a shocking command of grammar in exchange for this highly damaging material. We can only live in hope that he has not made copies of the tape and distributed them to the media. And now the only thing to do now is to view the incriminating evidence and decide how best to respond to this and the appropriate messages to prepare should - God help us - the tape get into tabloid hands."

Helena takes a few steps forward, scans the worn material covering Jasper's two seater sofa disapprovingly then seats herself gracefully down. Rachel, who has been standing silently to the side, walks to the TV, switches it on and inserts the DVD.

"Sit down, both of you," Helena instructs. "We will watch the video together. As a family," Helena announces.

Eleanor rolls her eyes in disbelief, "Ri-ight. Because of course that's what families do in familes where where the son in law has shagged his mother in law, and then after he's quit blackmailing the daughter he accidentally marries her when both parties were very drunk and very off their faces on drugs. Of course the logical thing to do is to watch surveillance camera footage of their pre-marital shag at a service station - of course-"

Helena holds up her hand, and silences her rant. "Believe me Eleanor, no one wishes more than me that we didn't have to sit here and endure this for the next five minutes and-"

"It's got to be at least 15 minutes," Jasper corrects her loudly.

Eleanor rolls her eyes again. But privately to give him credit, it is probably at least 15 minutes.

Helena ignores the interruption. 'And yet here we are. Rachel - play the tape," she orders.

Both Jasper and Eleanor drop down on the couch opposite the Queen, resigned to the inevitable. Prince Rufus trots over to his favourite, Eleanor, and jumps up on to the couch, the scrambles onto her lap.

"Hang on, wait a moment while I cover Prince Rufus' eyes. He doesn't need to see this," Eleanor protests, suddenly considering her new audience.

Rachel pauses for a moment until Eleanor has her hands square over little Prince Rufus's eyes then presses the play button.

* * *

 _Right, thanks for your reviews everyone_

 _The movie inspiration was actually ...The Hangover. Because they have no idea what happened and fresh clues keep turning up that confuse them, although What happens in Vegas sounds like it also fits (haven't actually seen it sorry to say)_

 _TV series - yes correct the Friends episode where Ross and Rachel get accidentally married in Vegas_

 _And the song Waking up in Vegas by Katy Perry_


	9. Chapter 9

_Just by way of explanation the genre this story has been written in a farce - which is "a comedy that aims at entertaining the audience through situations that are highly exaggerated, extravagant, and thus are often highly incomprehensible plot-wise (due to the many plot twists and random events that occur), but viewers are encouraged not to try to follow the plot in order to avoid becoming confused and overwhelmed."_

 _If you find characters acting in a way that you find annoying, or implausible or a bit silly, that's because that's the type of story it is (and the title and plot summary is probably a giveaway that its not supposed to be very serious or plausible)._

 _It's just supposed to be a bit of light fun, and in a different style to other Royals fics._

 _Not saying the stories going to necessarily be this style all the way through._

 _Thanks for the reviews to date, another chapter is below._

* * *

The tape is grainy and at first there's nothing to see in the dimly lit area, aside from rubbish bins and a some empty gas tins. A cat strolls into view and elegantly jumps up onto one of the rubbish tips and pokes his head inside. The time reads as 3.32am and its dated this very morning.

Eleanor's starting to think the tape is a fake after nothing has happened in the first 90 seconds, but unfortunately she's about to be proved wrong. At 3.34am and 12 seconds two figures stumble into the shot.

Eleanor leans forward to peer at the tape and it takes her only ten seconds to confirm that yes, her outfit matches the one she is wearing today, and even though the footage is grainy and dark, yes that is her dark hair. And she would recognise the man pulling her by the hand towards the wall anywhere. Jasper bloody Frost. Her blackmailing, lying, cheating, conniving former bodyguard who she did not have a relationship but apparently did find time to _marry_ last night.

It takes all of two minutes before the tape reveals that her skirt has been hiked up to her hips, her singlet's been removed so she's only in her bra and Jasper's shirt is dumped on the ground and they are engrossed in kissing each other, hands running over muscles and curves.

Eleanor looks to her left and her mother is watching it all disapprovingly, while Rachael sits primly beside her with a notepad in hand, scribbling onto the pad.

"Are you taking notes on our technique?" Eleanor bursts out with, accusingly, looking at Rachael.

"Well, mostly to develop our reply to any media enquiries. To detail the circumstances around the scenario. But there may be some elements that could be considered _educational_ , as well," she adds.

Eleanor's about to tell Rachael where she can stick her pen when her mother interrupts. "Really Eleanor, by the dumpster?" she questions, coolly.

Eleanor switches her attention back from Rachael to the video, where they have moved a few metres.

"You have to remember that I was really very, very drunk," Eleanor snaps defensively. "And on a lot of drugs," she adds for good measure.

Her mother raises an eyebrow back at her. "Clearly," she replies, unsympathetically.

An awkward silence falls over the room as the tape keeps rolling, with only the sound of Rachael's intermittent pauses to turn a new piece of paper over as she takes notes and Prince Rufus' muffled protests as he shuffles on Eleanor's lap trying to see again.

It's true that Eleanor doesn't recollect what happened last night, but she can see it all too clearly now and its taking her places she'd rather not go. Back to her bedroom at the Palace. Memories of Jasper on her, inside her, like in the tape, mercilessly thrusting into her, while the waves build inside of her until she's clinging to him, pulling him into her, just to try and finish this so she can finally get what she craves.

Watching it all now brings a sharp stab of want, because how ever much she tries, it seems that now only one man can do this to her. Only one man can make her feel this way, like she's lost control and she'd sacrifice everything just for his touch.

She risks a glance at Jasper. He's watching the screen but his face is as inscrutable as ever.

She wonders what it means that as soon as they're drunk they fall back into instinct and then they're on each other. Literally.

She shifts Prince Rufus so that he is facing into her, and finally removes her hands from his face, much to his relief.

Next to her, her mother stirs, her fingertips brushing against her knee and it only serves to remind her that however Jasper makes her feel, she is not the only one his attentions will be focused on.

No matter how successfully Jasper Frost makes her burn for him, he simply cannot be trusted. So there is no chance of them ever being together, or staying husband and wife. Ever.

"I can't believe this is still going," Queen Helena clicks her tongue disapprovingly. "It's enough that I have to watch my own daughter acting like a common whore and that once seen I can't unsee this, but really I would have thought ten minutes would be quite long enough," she adds, frowning.

"Tapes been rolling for 17 minutes now," Rachael adds helpfully.

Jasper finally breaks his silence. "Good things take time."

Both Queen Helena and her daughter turn their heads sharply and scowl back at him.

He looks up and addresses the Queen coolly. "And you may be the Queen of England but you're in _my_ house, sitting your arse on _my_ couch and you're not to call _my wife_ a whore."

Helena lets out an audible gasp that she's just been spoken to in this manner, and beside her Eleanor's mouth falls open and it takes her a good second before she gulps for breath and then shuts it. And then a slow smirk forms on her face.

Rachael clears her throat diplomatically. 'I believe events have reached their conclusion," she announces.

Helena switches her attention back to the tape where Jasper and Eleanor can now be seen slumped against the wall, still tangled together.

"Thank God for that," Helena declares. "Rachael switch the tape off," she instructs.

Helena stands and makes her way to the door. "Gentlemen you may re-enter the room," she tells the lawyers.

"Please take a seat," she tells them. "And we would appreciate your advice on our options. Firstly, we need to know whether this marriage is legally valid."

The two lawyers sit themselves at the table. Eleanor slides into a seat at the opposite end from her mother, while Jasper stands, leaning against the wall.

"Good evening your Majesty, Princess," he nods to Eleanor, "Mr Frost. As you will be aware I am a Barrister and QC and have the honour of acting as legal advisor to your family in England so I am well versed in English law. And I am joined here by my learned colleague Mr Archie Forbes who is an attorney specialising in marriage and divorce law in the state of Nevada," he begins ponderously.

Eleanor rolls her eyes. This is clearly going to take a while.

Helena interrupts smoothly. "Yes we are very lucky to have both of you here with your extensive legal experience. Now if you could just cut to the chase and advise us whether the marriage can be dissolved or if it is legal, I would be most obliged. I do have engagements back in England tomorrow which I need to attend."

"Yes, quite" the lawyer agree solemnly. "Well the long and the short of it is, that my learned colleague and I have both examined the marriage certificate and it does appear to the legally valid. So therefore it cannot be dissolved. If the parties involved wish to terminate the marriage divorce is the only way for this to occur," he states.

"I want a divorce."

"I don't want a divorce."

Both Jasper and Eleanor speak at the same time.

Eleanor glares at Jasper once more. "Must you make this difficult Jasper?" she demands.

Queen Helena sits back into her chair and looks from one to the other, then back at the lawyer. "And if we were to apply for a divorce how long would it take to be granted?" she questions.

Instead, the American divorce attorney speaks. "Normally for a mutual consent divorce the standard timeframe is around two years. In special circumstances we may be able to expediate the case to around a year. However if both parties do not consent to the divorce the situation could take considerably longer and the grounds on which the divorce is sought must be disclosed which could cause some - er - public embarrassment," he answers diplomatically.

"Rachael at this point I would like your opinion. Do you think the Princess going through a very public divorce over the next year is going to be helpful to the Monarchy's public image in light of my daughter's most recent escapades?" the Queen's question is loaded and Eleanor snaps her head, glaring at her mother.

Rachael steps forward to offer her opinion, unwanted by Eleanor, while everyone else listens intently. "A protracted divorce such as this will provide the media with an opportunity to recount again and again the incidents of the last day involving the Princess and her - er - spontaneous - marriage and associated escapades in vegas. So, no I do not think it would be helpful. In fact it will be incredibly damaging and will make the Monarchy a laughing stock. Potentially to the point of eroding public support for the institution."

Eleanor gasps while Helena nods in agreement. Bloody Rachael and her mother are of course in cahoots, once again.

The Queen stands to deliver her judgement.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with you Rachael. So therefore my decision is that there will be no divorce in the interim. Eleanor, your deplorable antics have gone too far and I will not allow you to destroy our family with a very public and protracted divorce which will turn our family into an object of ridicule. You have made your bed Eleanor, and now you must lie on it, as the saying goes. And in private and not at public service stations, I might add," she adds scornfully, a warning tone in her voice.

She continues, "For the time being you will remain married to Mr Frost. And if you still wish to divorce after one year you may initiate divorce proceedings in a dignified and seemly manner by mutual agreement. That is my decision," she announces.

As expected Eleanor's defiant. "You _can't_ just do that mother. You _can't_ order me to stay married to someone I don't want to be married to. _I have rights_ ," she storms as she pushes herself up and away from the table.

Helena is cool and dangerous. "You're quite right that I can't order you to stay married to Mr Frost. But I can and will disinherit you."

Eleanor looks back at her mother, stunned, and then turns to look at Jasper.

Only he doesn't look shocked or annoyed.

If fact he's wearing an irritatingly self-satisfied smirk.


	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks for your reviews._

 _Please let me know what you think of the story._

 **Part two:**

 **What happens in England after what happens in Vegas...happens**

"Thank God there are no papps," Eleanor breathes a sigh of relief as she peers out the window at the airport they've just touched down at.

She glances first at her mother, and then at her bodygu - no _husband_ , regrettably, who as usual looks none the worse for the 15 hour flight, except for a slight tousled look to his hair. Some people might think that he pulls off this look rather well, and that it actually makes him look hotter than usual. _But,_ Eleanor reminded herself, after he had connived with her mother to force her to stay married to him under threat of making her a penniless, unemployed nobody, she was most certainly _not_ one of those people.

"You do know that once they find there's a puppy on board, he's going to be sent to quarantine," the ever officious Rachel's glances from the customs officials making their way down the tarmack in a small vehicle to Prince Rufus. "For at least a month," she adds helpfully.

Eleanor looks down at her new pet with a frown. "Prince Rufus wouldn't like being in quarantine. All the big dogs might pick on him and I wouldn't get to see him for ages and he would be lonely," she strokes his fur lovingly. He is so little and he's only been with her a day. Every thing is changing and Prince Rufus has been her one constant these past 24 hours.

"He's going in the diplomatic bag," she decides, spontaneously, opening a large carry all bag, marked 'Diplomatic Carrier.' She shoves her drugs to one side, and puts the little puppy inside.

"And no eating the cocaine, ok?" she tells him, scolding.

"Don't they say something about pets take after their owners?" Jasper pipes up from the sidelines, slyly.

"Prince Rufus doesn't do coke, Jasper," Eleanor snaps, correcting him.

Just as she zips up the bag, the airplane door opens to reveal two customs officials.

"Gentlemen," her mother greets them, pleasantly.

"If we could just do a quick inspection of the plane and any baggage you're carrying, Maam," the customs officer requests, in a most obsequious voice.

"Of course," the Queen replies.

The two officers start at opposite ends of the plane, sweeping up and down once and then asking the passengers to present their luggage.

Eleanor presents the bag the rehab facility returned to her shortly before they boarded.

The officials are in the midst of opening and inspect the Queen and Princesses bags when a small but sharp 'roof' erupts from somewhere within the plane. And then repeats itself twice.

"Is there an animal on board?," one of the officers questions, turning towards the sound.

"Sounds like a puppy," the other agrees, stepping closer towards the sound and looking suspiciously towards the diplomatic bag. "Would you mind opening this bag?" he asks, looking towards the Queen.

"That's the diplomatic bag," Eleanor replies promptly, before her mother has a chance to reply.

The diplomatic bag lets out a sound suspiciously like a 'woof.'

"See it's marked here diplomatic carrier," she points to the words engraved on its side. "So you're not legally permitted to open it. And that's not a puppy either. That's a new feature I had installed recently," she's thinking fast on her feet. "Sounds of the English countryside."

Jasper rolls his eyes.

Eleanor continues. "Reminds me of our Somerset estate. If you're lucky you might catch the sound of horses along country lanes," Eleanor bluffs without shame. "Always thinking of new ways to spend your hard earned taxpayer pounds," she adds, smirking as she looks from one flustered customs official to the other.

She sees the two officers glance from one to the other, seeming uncertain what to do.

One makes a decision. "Well, we've completed our inspection so will leave you to get on you way."

As soon as they exit the plane, Eleanor pounces on the bag opening it to reveal a small white furry head pushing its way out of the top

"Awww, Prince Rufus, you didn't like the diplomatic bag did you?. No you didn't," she repeats, pulling him up to her face so he's eye to eye with her. "Well now you're out and I won't put you back in there again. I promise you," she tells him, cuddling him to her.

The plane door opens once more as the steps are in place, complete with red carpet.

Jasper hastily grabs both his bags and then Eleanor's and is first to exit the plane, relishing the fresh air after the stuffy cabin atmosphere.

The Princess, Queen and Rachel follow, with the steward carrying their luggage behind.

A black car is parked a few yards away on the tarmack, door opens, with the driver standing stiffly to one side.

* * *

It's only after they've been driving for twenty minutes that Eleanor realises they are _not_ heading for the Palace.

"Where are we going?" she questions, snapping her head towards her mother, questionly.

"You'll see when we get there," Helena replies breezily.

Eleanor furrows her eyebrows together, ignoring the fact that Jasper is _still_ irritatingly looking right at her, and has been for the past twenty minutes. Whenever her mother has surprises, she invariably does _not_ appreciate them.

Her confusion mounts as they head unmistakenly deeper into the countryside, until they eventually pull up and wait while heavily gated doors are manually opened by a servant, and then they glide down a long driveway.

"Is this Misselthwaite?" Eleanor questions. "In Wiltshire?" Eleanor repeats again, like Wiltshire is the equivalent to Timbuktu.

Helena nods. "I realise you haven't been here since you were eleven so you may not recognise it well enough. But this is your new home. And your husband will be titled the Marquis of Wiltshire. Had you been married in a more seemly manner you would both have received a Dukedom, but as things stand you've been downgraded to a Marquis," Helena adds, her words accompanied by the same expression of admonishment that has graced her face so often over the past twenty four hours.

Eleanor glances to Jasper, but his face is giving away nothing.

The car pulls up outside the house, and the driver steps over to open the doors to reveal a gracious nineteenth century stone mansion.

Helena steps out, followed by Eleanor, then Rachel and Jasper. They head for the front door.

Five staff line the hallway. The first of them bobs down to curtsy.

"Oh lord, you needn't bother with all of that," Eleanor tells them before they all start up with it. One of the staff looks old enough to be her grandmother and too much curtsying can't be good for the joints.

One of the staff steps forward to take the puppy Prince Rufus. "I'll see he gets something to eat," the maid tells her.

Eleanor smiles gratefully and passes the puppy into safe care.

Helena continues forward, entering into a large dining room, while Eleanor, Jasper and Rachel follow.

"The staff here have strict instructions that to prevent you from further embarrassing our family you are to live a life of quiet seclusion on your country estate. With no access to your drug cabinet," Helena adds with emphasis.

Eleanor's eyes flash and she opens her mouth to argue with her mother but Helena serenely continues, ignoring her.

"You will not be allowed to leave the estate until such time as I am confident you can do so without creating further disgrace to the family. You will be permitted visitors from an approved list. Rachel, read the list," Helena orders.

"The names on the list are: Queen Helena, Prince Liam, and myself - Rachel," Rachel reads from her notepad primly.

"And?," Eleanor prompts.

"And that's the end of the list," Rachel replies promptly, while Helena looks on with a self satisfied smile. She turns her attention to her new son in law. "I'm watching you too, Mr Frost, or should I say your lordship," she informs him warningly as he looks back at her impassively.

"You can't do this mother," Eleanor storms, stamping one delicate foot on the carefully polished wooden floor.

"I'm the Queen of England," her mother answers, as if that itself is enough of a reply.

"You can't just do this. We'll be prisoners. Locked up with no way out," Eleanor paces across the room and gestures dramatically.

"Oh contrare, daughter, you will be enjoying the private romantic seclusion of your new home, as befits your newlywed status," her mother replies, cool and calm. "And now Rachel and I have business to attend to at the Palace," Helena steps away from her daughter and heads for the door. Rachel falls into step behind her.

"Enjoy your new home darling. If you're bored I'm sure your new husband might be prevailed on to occupy you with some form of some _light entertainment_ ," Helena adds sweetly as she exits the room.

"Ohhh," Eleanor seethes angrily at her mother's back.

"You know she's right. If you're bored I could satisfactorily _entertain_ you, Princess," Jasper offers, one eyebrow raised, as leans casually against the wall.

Eleanor takes one look at him then storms out of room, repeating herself for the second time in twenty four hours.

"I _want_ a bloody _divorce_."


	11. Chapter 11

_Thanks for your reviews. Yes it is a hard knock life with nothing to do on your country estate except keep company with your cute puppy and hot husband and team of servants._

 _And yes, these circumstances are somewhat related to Helena's scheming._

 _And look they are bored and alone now..._

* * *

Their first week at their new estate passes satisfactorily with no fresh media incidents.

Queen Helena is satisfied.

Princess Eleanor is not so amenable.

Eleanor doesn't like the countryside in itself. In a word it is _boring._

Three things are keeping her from actively detesting her new life. The first is Prince Rufus - because how could anyone fail to love his adorable little self?

The second is her horse - Charlie Jones - who her mother cannily dispatched over to Misselthwaite the day after she arrived. She consoles herself by riding him while she stews over her arranged marriage.

And the third is her new bodyguard, Mr Hill, who also arrived the day after she did and who she actually likes and finds somewhat amusing.

* * *

It is 9.15am and Prince Rufus sits in his usual breakfast spot - Eleanor's knee - like a King on his throne. Eleanor looks down every few minutes to feed him a new scrap of bacon and he laps it up, tickling her fingers by licking them afterwards until she feeds him another piece.

Jasper is wearing a maroon smoking jacket and looks casually dischevelled.

Eleanor sits opposite him in a pair of sleep shorts and t shirt, separated by a wide dining table, and pretends an interest in today's newspaper.

Eleanor finds it irritating how easily he has assumed a 'Lord of the Manor' role. It was only two days after they arrived here that she discovered he could, in fact, ride a horse and now he rides around their vast estate every second day, talking to their tenants and checking up on the property.

As she had explained to Jasper quite extensively the day they arrived here, what they were currently in was a temporary marriage of convienience until such time as they could arrange a divorce. It was _not_ a real marriage. She had made it quite clear that they would be occupying separate bedrooms and would be living separate lives as much as possible once her evil witch of a mother relaxed enough to actually let them out of the estate grounds.

Jasper pushes aside his bacon and eggs once finished, and abruptly stands up, his chair scraping the floor. "Once you've finished breakfast I'll meet you in the hall at 9.30. We're going riding," he announces.

Eleanor blinks. This is news to her and she doesn't appreciate the fact that he thinks he can tell her what to do.

Jasper Frost is _not_ one of the things that makes the countryside somewhat bearable.

"You can't just order me around. _I'm_ the Princess remember. I give the orders around here," Eleanor fires back, standing up as she tosses her napkin down on the table with an air of challenge.

Prince Rufus manages to save himself in time and leaps onto the floor, rescuing his half chewed piece of bacon but letting out an annoyed yelp.

"Ooops, sorry Prince Rufus," Eleanor apologises hastily, then looks back up to find her husband has invaded her space, uninvited.

"What you are is my wife. Lady Eleanor Frost," his hand reaches forward to push her hair behind her neck and his hand lingers on her skin.

Eleanor struggles to supress the shiver that comes from having his hands on her, and his lips a few inches from her face.

"And once in a while it wouldn't hurt you to do as you're bloody told," Jasper continues, only now his voice isn't loud its soft and seductive and having him so close to her makes it hard for Eleanor to breathe.

Jasper steps back quickly and breaks the moment. "We'll be looking at the estate which we've just inherited. Which you and I are the owners of and which you should have some understanding of."

Eleanor's still contemplating whether to argue with him or concede because riding Charlie Jones is actually one of her favourite things, even if the company is somehow both infuriating and a little dangerous.

"Fine," she yells ungraciously at Jasper's retreating back as he turns for the door. "If you're prepared for me to beat you at a gallop," she adds for good measure, because she wants to win at _something_ today.

But he's already down the hallway by the time her words are out and gives no sign he's heard them.

* * *

It's a fine and clear spring day and it takes all morning to ride from the west to the east side of their estate. Eleanor's dressed in a pair of jeans and a fitted long sleeved t shirt and her riding cap. Jasper's ditched the riding cap and is wearing jeans and a white t shirt which hugs his muscled torso admirably.

Eleanor's never been interested in farming, but Jasper's surprisingly knowledgeable considering he's only been here a week.

He spent two days with the estate manager since he arrived. In Vegas in his line of work it was imperative that he be able to quickly pick up and process new information, so now he finds it easy to drop all sorts of information into the conversation.

And Eleanor finds herself unwillingly surprisingly interested in what he has to say.

But most of all she likes the freedom that comes from being with her old friend - Charlie Jones - out in the open with the wind in her hair and the sunshine in her face.

About half a mile from their manor, Jasper pulls up when they reach nineteenth cottage with a thatched roof.

"This is where James lives," he tells her.

Of all the staff, Mr Hill is the one Eleanor's most inclined to call her friend, and this captures her attention.

"You know he has a niece who he looks after. Holly. She's six," Eleanor tells him. After extracting this information from him yesterday, she told Mr Hill that she expects to see them both for afternoon tea later tomorrow.

Jasper shakes his head. Eleanor can be surprisingly persistent at digging for information if its something she's interested in.

A few seconds later she's off her horse, dumping him with the reigns and peering at the window pane.

"Urrgh," she pronounces, sounding unimpressed. "It's awfully brown inside, and gloomy. We really need to get this repainted and maybe add a couple more windows to let some more light in. And while we're at it maybe we should insulate the place. It can't be very healthy for a child if its freezing in winter."

Jasper makes a note that along with Prince Rufus, Mr Hill and his daughter are clearly on Eleanor's list of favourites.

"All matters which you can discuss with our Estate Manager," Jasper informs her.

"We have an Estate Manager?" Eleanor echoes, surprised.

"Well, the estate didn't just run itself until we arrived," Jasper tells her, dryly. "And stop snooping at the windows like that. You're worse that a papp," he tells her, after she's peered into the third set of windows.

"Just inspecting one of our estate assets," Eleanor informs him regally. "I don't approve much of the carpet either. It's hideous. The whole place would look much nicer if they added a really nice Turkish rug," she adds, thinking out loud.

"We're not adding a ten thousand pound Turkish rug to the place," Jasper informs, her, sounding final. "Just stick to the basics so its warm and comfortable."

Eleanor blinks, then looks up at him. At the palace they have lots of beautiful oriental rugs but she has no idea that they cost that much. To her they were just something warm to walk on that scattered the floor.

"Well, ok maybe just a little one," she compromises.

"Maybe," Jasper repeats because Eleanor can be intractably stubborn once she gets an idea in her head, and at least they are making progress here.

Jasper hands her back her reigns as she shifts away from the window.

"Race you back to the house," Eleanor's on her horse already with a mischievous grin on her face and gives it a gentle kick to set it off. Then she's flying across the field, hair streaming out behind her.

* * *

Jasper's not far behind her but he can't catch her after the headstart she gave herself.

By the time he catches her she's back at the stables, about to dismount her horse.

"How does it feel to be beaten, Your Lordship?," Eleanor asks cheekily, as she pulls her helmut off and shakes her hair out so it tumbles down her back.

Jasper slides off his horse in one quick movement and then he's by her side.

His hands on her shoulders and he takes her by surprise, pulling her towards him and pressing his mouth down on hers, sucking the life out of her. It's too sudden to see it coming and once it starts, she doesn't stop it because she doesn't want him to stop.

Eventually he lets her go and she stares back at him, shocked and breathless.

"Actually, it feels a lot like winning," he replies back, cocking his eyebrows at her, with a self satisfied grin.

They're still staring at each other when a stableboy emerges and takes first Eleanor's horse by the reigns and then Jasper's.

"Thank you," Eleanor tells him.

"Nice ride, was it?" the stableboy asks in a broad West Country accent.

"Very," Jasper confirms.

"Lucy here's a good 'um. Real beauty with a good dash of fire in her," he replies back, petting Jasper's horse by the nose.

"I know," Jasper confirms. Eleanor turns away to head back into the house, but she still manages to catch his next words. "And that's exactly how I like them."


	12. Chapter 12

_More with Downtown Abbey Series 7. Ha. Only Jaspernor flavoured._

* * *

Jasper steals into her room that evening like a thief in the night.

It's after 11 and she's halfway between being awake and dreaming when the door slides open and he pads into her room.

Somehow he's been trained not to make a sound, and its not the noise which makes her realise he's there but the sliver of light from where the door's been cracked open.

It's not the first time he's come in like this, he's tried it before.

Unsuccessfully.

But tonight she doesn't sit up. Or yell at him. Or throw something at him.

Tonight she stays exactly where she is, and she doesn't even dare let out a breath.

Even in the dark she knows when he's by her bed because of the intensity of the way he looks at her. She knows it from before when he turns his attention on her, it's like he can set her alight just by watching.

His hand drops to the pillow and he strokes her hair.

She doesn't know if he can see her watching him in the dark, and she still doesn't dare move an inch, or make a sound.

Jasper turns away and there's a rustle as his robe and then his boxers fall to the floor.

He takes a few strides around the bed, then lifts the sheets and slides into the bed.

His hand reaches around her and then he's pulling her into him, so he's pressed into her back.

"You can't just come in here in the dark like this you know," she tells him, still groggy from the state of almost sleep she reached. Even to her mind, her voice sounds only half hearted.

"And yet, here I am," Jasper tells her back, and as if she didn't already know he was there, she can feel him hard against the curve of her back.

And even if she was ever thinking about protesting, she forgets it once Jasper finds the spot on her jawline just under her ears and starts kissing her right there while his hand slips under her singlet, pushing it higher up until he finds her nipple and strokes it until it peaks.

The exhalation of breath and a half veiled murmer of pleasure is all the invitation he needs and then he's flipping her onto her back and his hand is between her legs and he slips a finger inside her.

His lips are against her mouth and his hands are working her into a state where she can't breathe and its his name that's on her lips against his skin.

She's almost gone when he slides his hand away from her and parts her legs wider and then he's inside her, rocking against her with sharp thrusts, cradling her body against his, his sweat against her sweat, skin against skin.

She slides her hands up the muscular arms on either side of her and curls her arms into his neck, as he sinks deeper into her. Her fingernails dig into his back. His chest presses against the soft flesh of her nipples, and his hands dig into her waist, holding her in place as his movements before harder and faster and more urgent.

It feels like she is on fire from the trail of heat he leaves inside her and her breath starts falling from her lips in ragged gasps.

Her head falls back, her eyelashes flutter and the world starts to blur. From afar, Jasper says her name, finally, with an intensity that startles her.

Afterwards, everything is quiet.

Jasper has pulled her into him so her head is pressed against his chest, and her hair fans out against his skin. He has one arm around her and the other is twined into her hand.

And because it is dark and late and there is no where there to see them, not even each other, she lets him.

"Tomorrow maybe we should ride up to the other side of the estate. Up near the river," Eleanor tells him. Her eyes feel heavy and soon she'll be slipping back to sleep.

"Yeah," Jasper agrees. "Maybe you should take your clothes off in the river, and we can christen it together baby," Jasper proposes, and even in the dark Eleanor's sure there is a smirk gracing his face.

"Yes I can just imagine that Mum's going to bloody love it if that story ever makes the tabloids," Eleanor mutters back sarcastically, while at the same time settling herself further into the crook of Jasper's arm.

"Wouldn't hurt to remind the public that Lady Eleanor Frost is fully occupied with her new role," Jasper says territorially.

Eleanor rolls her eyes, but doesn't reply.

It's late and she's too tired to say any more, so she shuts her eyes.

All she can hear is the tick tock of the grandfather clock keeping time.

And even though the night is cold, wrapped in Jasper's arms she feels safe and warm as his lips press into the delicate skin by her temple.

And as she slips further into unconsciousness, her last thought is that maybe - maybe it wouldn't be the _worst_ thing if they were to stay married after all.


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning they don't make it to the breakfast table till 9.

Jasper is clearly at fault for this because he started the morning by peppering her shoulder with kisses. And then from there went downhill. Literally. And she didn't bloody care if this wasn't supposed to be part of their arrangement, because it felt _so good_.

And if their butler was surprised to see them come down the stairs together, with Jasper's arm around her waist, he was _far_ too well trained and _far_ too discreet to comment upon it.

* * *

After breakfast, Liam turns up unexpectedly while Eleanor is sitting in the parlour reading the latest edition of _Vogue_. It's been nearly two weeks since she's seen him but it feels much longer and Eleanor fairly tumbles over herself to rush over to him and hug him.

Liam steps back from her with a bemused expression. "I love you too sis. What was that for?" questioning why she's just attempted to hug the life out of him so violently.

"It's taken you that bloody long to turn up here I was starting to wonder if Mum had forgotten to tell you I've been locked up here," Eleanor tells him.

Liam looks back at her apologetically. "Sorry sis. I've been a little tied up with engagements, and I've met a new girl too. I did mean to get down here earlier. But now I'm here, you can tell me what's news. Aside from the drunken vegas wedding and as yet unpublished sex tape, I mean, which I might add you really outdid yourself with," he adds, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head.

Eleanor lays back on the couch and drapes a hand over her forehead, looking and feeling sorry for herself. "Don't you start. I've had enough of that from Mum already. I'll admit it wasn't my finest hour. But Mum's keeping us locked up here like recalcitrant POWs who've been caught out trying to tunnel out of Alcatraz," Eleanor moans dramatically. "So when you see her again can you tell her to loosen her bloody leash and let us out of this house," Eleanor waves a hand towards the house and Liam surpresses a smile as he glances around the plush furnishings and cosy interior complete with a staff of servants which his sister seems to find so objectionable.

"And the worst thing is that..."

Liam never gets to find out what the worst thing actually is because the door clicks open and Jasper enters the room.

Liam's face lights up and he steps forward and shakes Jasper firmly by the hand with the other hand on his arm. "Welcome to the family, Jasper. It's good to have you with us."

Jasper returns Liam's greeting with a rare warm smile, because this reception is much better than the frosty one he received from his mother in law.

"Thanks. It's good to see you again."

Two seconds later, Jasper's arrival is eclipsed when the family's youngest member makes his way into the room.

"Aww, Prince Rufus, come here," Eleanor's face lights up.

The puppy trots over to Jasper first then towards Eleanor as she beckons him and introduces him to Liam.

"This is Liam Prince Rufus. He's my brother and even though he can be a little annoying at times, deep down he's a pretty good sort."

"Liam, this is Prince Rufus. He likes bacon and chocolate and short walks in the park," Eleanor lists off some of Prince Rufus' favourite things.

Jasper rolls his eyes. "This isn't a dating website Eleanor. You're not match making them."

"No," Eleanor agrees. "But Liam is my twin and it's important they both get along."

Liam beckons Prince Rufus towards him. "He is pretty adorable," Liam tells her, running a hand over the puppies head, and smiling up at his sister.

"Isn't he just," Eleanor beams, sounding like a proud parent.

And even Jasper can't help but smirk when Eleanor takes a piece of the cake that's sitting on her saucer and gets Prince Rufus to jump up and beg for a little treat. The little guy is pretty cute and he's starting to grow on him.

Eleanor and Prince Rufus hold centre stage for a few minutes while she shows them how she's teaching him to roll over, and then gets him overly excited by having him fetch a ball and bring it back to her several times.

After that excitement dies down, Liam asks them to show them around their home, because its been over a decade since he's seen this place.

They spend the next three hours first walking around the gardens and then Eleanor and Liam take the two horses out to ride around the estate.

Eleanor finds herself telling Liam some of the things Jasper told her yesterday, and Liam almost looks impressed that she's taken enough of an interest in her new home to know something about it.

When they get back to the house, Liam shoves his hands in his pockets and tells her he has to go back to London but he promises he'll be back in two weeks for the weekend.

"And I will tell Mum that you're behaving yourself and you want to be let off the estate. And that you and Jasper have survived a whole week together without killing each other," he adds with a twinkle in his eye, and his mouth quirks into a flash of a smile.

"The thought did cross my mind," Eleanor tells him. Because there have been a number of times in the past week when she's just wanted to strangle Jasper until he stopped breathing. Although in the past twenty four hours she's let him put his mouth to better use than not breathing.

"But he has Prince Rufus for protection," she adds.

Unaccountably although he didn't cosset and pamper the puppy like Eleanor did, Prince Rufus had taken a strong liking to Jasper. And it seemed the liking was returned because she'd even seen him slip him a piece of bacon. The _very same_ behaviour _he_ told _her_ was completely unnecessary.

Liam steps towards the car. "I have to go now. Be good," he tells her, grinning.

"Aren't I always?" Eleanor bites back, flippantly and Liam shakes his head, "if only."

And before he gets the door open, Eleanor impulsively throws herself towards him and hugs him tightly. "Come back soon. Promise," she demands.

"I promise," Liam submits to her hug for a minute and then extracts her from his arms and gets into the car.

Eleanor hears a couple of yaps coming from the back of the house, and follows towards them to find Prince Rufus dashing back and forth running amongst some of the ducks which have emerged from their pond.

After watching him exert himself for a few minutes she scoops him up in her arms. "That's enough excitement for now. It's time for lunch," she tells him.

They go in via the back door and Eleanor pushes open the door to the lounge.

She was going to head for the kitchen to top up Prince Rufus' bowl but the scene that meets her makes her stop in her tracks.

Her husband has his face affixed to their new maid who has her arms wound around his neck.

"Jasper," Eleanor breathes, staring at them both.

Up until now everything had seemed to be going perfectly today.

But in one moment it feels like her world is suddenly falling apart and there's no reproach or anger in her voice.

Only shock. And the sound of her dreams being crushed.


	14. Chapter 14

_Since there were a lot of reviews that were like "nooooo! what are you doing? I can't wait a week now," I put up the next chapter soon for your reading pleasure (or displeasure...)_

 _Only short though..._

* * *

"Jasper," Eleanor repeats. "Mandy."

She looks from one to the other, shocked. And as if her husband's betrayal wasn't bad enough, although their new maid has only been with her for four days, she's starting to think of her as a friend too.

Jasper steps back and pushes a hand through his hair distractedly. "This isn't what it looks like," he splutters.

"No. This is _exactly_ what it looks like," Eleanor bites back sharply, the tears starting to prick in her eyes. She looks towards Mandy, who's watching them both impassively with her arms folded, then narrows her gaze and turns her attention back to her husband.

"And if you think you can talk your way out of this, well let me tell you I'm not bloody stupid enough to fall for your lies," Eleanor continues, her voice rising.

"Eleanor. Please. Just let me explain-," Jasper sounds like a desperate man, but Eleanor's not having any of it.

"Just stop talking," she interrupts him abruptly in a flash of temper. "I'm not listening to one minute more of your lies and excuses," Eleanor throws back at him and before he has a chance to stop her she's out of the room, the door slamming closed behind her and the echo of her heels on the polished wooden floors following after.

Eleanor doesn't even manage to get five minutes peace before Jasper pushes his way into her bedroom, causing her to blow a fuse.

"This is my bedroom. Not yours. You have no right to come in here where you're not welcome," Eleanor yells, standing her ground as she defends her space, arms crossed.

She wants him to stay exactly where he is by the door, so he can't see the tears that are pooling in her eyes and are threatening to start falling at any minute.

"I just needed you to know that she kissed me. I didn't kiss her. I told her to stop," Jasper's pleading with her to believe him as he inches closer towards her. To understand what he's saying to her.

"Oh _really_ Jasper. That's _perfectly_ believable that you who are 200 pounds were accosted by Mandy who held you prisoner and literally forced you to kiss her. How you _her employer_ were sexually harassed by _the maid_ ," Eleanor spits out sarcastically.

Jasper's up near the end of the bed now and only a few metres from her, and she steps back as he comes ever closer.

She knows him well enough. She knows he's itching to get his hands on her, to try and shift her anger into passion by igniting her with a touch.

And she's not stupid enough to fall for that again.

"Just get away from me," Eleanor erupts with a scream. "Get out of my room and don't come back here again. I _don't trust_ you Jasper. You cheated on me with my mother, and now you cheated on me with the maid. _Get out_ ," her voice is rising and she's starting to sound hysterical to the extent that the next moment her bodyguard Mr Hill is at the door, knocking cautiously.

"Is everything all right Your Highness?," he questions, his voice ever diplomatic.

Eleanor sniffs, and pulls herself upright regally. "Yes. You may escort my husband out of the room. He was just leaving," she announces, pointedly.

Eleanor turns her back as Mr Hill opens the door and escorts Jasper from the room. She's not there to see the expression of intense longing on his face when he takes one last look at her willowy figure which stands motioness against the window frame.

Looking out into the midday sunshine from her window, Eleanor can still taste Jasper on her lips from this morning. She can still smell his cologne on her skin.

But now the only thing she can think of is that it reeks of betrayal and the aftertaste is bitter.


	15. Chapter 15

_Thanks for your reviews, yip it was the evil Mandy readers. I liked the idea of Eleanor punching Mandy as suggested but unfortunately couldn't really fit it into the plotline anywhere_

* * *

If the atmosphere was cool in their marriage after their arrival back from Vegas, a polar freeze has now set in.

It's not that Jasper's not trying to be a good husband, it's that in Eleanor's eyes he's now gone from _distinctly shifty_ as he was once they were married to _on no account to be trusted, whatsoever_ now.

And its not a comfortable state of affairs for Jasper because it means that Eleanor communicates to him via the household staff, or at absolute last resort, via notes, which are short to the point of abrupt.

 _The housekeeper is going to the village this afternoon. If you require anything Mandy hasn't already serviced you for, let her know._

 _Liam is visiting on Saturday. You can attend. Or not._

It's not as if he doesn't try and tackle her about this. To try and communicate that if they can't be properly married together they could at least try and establish some sort of civilised pattern of communication.

Mandy will be gone in a few days, having refused to leave of her own accord and instead she has been served notice, and then he won't have to suffer Eleanor's jabs about their supposed relationship. It can't come soon enough in his book.

Things only get worse when Liam visits with his fellow old Etonian Henry, a rising county cricket star who is irritatingly good looking and lays on the charm.

Eleanor laps it all up and serves it right back at him, flirting shamelessly with Henry right under Jasper's eye. In fact right in front of Jasper.

Jasper's had about as much as he can stand of the lingering looks and accidental touches going on between the two of them when he decides to take it outside.

"Challenge you to a bit of boxing," Jasper tells Henry in a way that suggests its not optional.

Jasper brushes aside his reply that he doesn't really fight with a brisque. "No time like the present to learn."

Outside there's no real competition, and Jasper feels all the better for delivering him a couple of firm blows to the stomach, followed by a punch to the chest.

Of course, Liam and Eleanor put a stop to things before they get too serious.

Inside, Liam helps his friend clean up his bloodied nose then returns to his brother in law in the kitchen where he's fixing himself a drink.

"I take it this marriage thing isn't going as smoothly as it could," Liam surmises, having spent an entire day witnessing his sister's frosty demeanor towards her husband.

"You could say that," Jasper replies, without elaborating further.

"You know she's just flirting with Henry to make you jealous," Liam tells him, sagely.

"I know," Jasper replies back, shortly.

"And?" Liam prompts.

"It's working," Jasper answers, shortly, his brow furrowed angrily as Henry returns to the kitchen with Eleanor holding an ice pack following right behind him.

"I'm heading off for bed now," Eleanor announces. "Jasper, while I'm gone _do_ try not to pummel our guest to death in his sleep. It wouldn't be the best form you know," she adds, giving him a cutting look before she exits the room.

Liam and Henry head off to bed shortly after, and Jasper lingers for a few moments to check that Henry is actually in _his_ bedroom and hasn't somehow _accidentally_ made his way to his wife's room.

He pauses in front of Eleanor's room and tries the door, but the lock holds firm and the rattle alerts his wife.

Her voice rings out cool and distinct in the quiet night air. "I'm not on call 24/7 Jasper. You have the maid for that."

Jasper feels his temper flare as he stands outside her room, shut out in the cold. "I don't want the fucking maid Eleanor. All I ever wanted was _you_."

Inside her room, Eleanor's breath catches at his words and at the passion in his voice.

She's been flirting with another man all night but the truth is he doesn't hold a candle to Jasper. All night Jasper's been glaring at them both with a simmering expression which only serves to remind her of what exactly it's like to be on the receiving end when he decides to unleash so much pent up desire. Because she remembers that well enough from her days at the Palace.

And the thought of it, and the tone in his voice, the longing to have his lips on hers, his hands set fire to her skin once again, almost makes her unlock her door.

Almost, but she doesn't because she hasn't forgiven him for kissing the maid, or punching Liam's friend. Or _making her bloody want him_.

Jasper stands outside the door for a full two minutes, willing his wife to unlock the door, let down her defences and let him love her, until he has to accept defeat. For now.

When he gets back to his room, he rests against the door, but his body is too wired for sleep. The blood is pumping hard through his veins.

It only took a few minutes for his mind to turn to thoughts of being inside his wife's room, and _inside_ his wife and now his cock is throbbing painfully with thwarted desire. His hand reaches down to unzip his pants and he starts to stroke, desperate for the relief she refuses to give him.

And all he can think of is Eleanor - her face, her skin, her hair, her mouth. Her body under his touch, under him. His body inside her.

Eleanor who is everything to him, who is the only thing he ever wanted.

Eleanor who is going to be the bloody death of him if he can't have her.


	16. Chapter 16

Eleanor's still not speaking to Jasper the next day.

Liam and Henry head back to London at lunchtime, but not without her brother giving her some unwanted words of advice.

"Give him a chance Len. He's trying. He's really trying," he tells her, pleading with her.

Eleanor shrugs, and Liam thinks he's making progress because at least she didn't bite his head off. Maybe with a little time, relations will improve between them.

That afternoon, she goes riding with James accompanying her, because he is preferable to her two timing husband.

When she gets back, the house is quiet and she heads for her bedroom to lie down, because she's been out for nearly two hours and she wants to relax.

She pulls open the door, and her jaw drops.

Inside, Mandy is standing at her dresser. Her jewellery box is open and she has a duffel bag beside her.

"And what exactly do you think you're doing?" Eleanor demands, strolling over to Mandy. Now she's close enough to see that all of the royal jewels she has inherited have been removed from her box and her top draw and are presumably inside the duffel back.

Mandy, to her credit, manages to look totally unperturbed at being caught red handed stealing from the Princess. She hastily stuffs her bag closed. "Seeing as I'm not wanted here, I was just leaving," she announces. "And I thought I'd take a few things with me as I didn't receive any severance pay for the crime of kissing your husband."

"You're not taking those jewels with you," Eleanor bites back, outraged. "They don't even belong to me. They belong to the people. You're stealing from the people," her voice is rising and now she's yelling back at her.

"Yeah well, I doubt the people will even notice they're gone," Mandy shoves past her, desperate to get out of the house and escape detection.

Eleanor grabs hold of her by the arm before she can get out of the room. "You're not going _anywhere_ with those," she screams. "James," she yells for backup.

It's not James who answers her call, because he's still outside chatting with the stableboy. It's her husband.

He takes two steps inside the door. "What the hell is going on?" he questions, angrily, glaring at Mandy.

"Your girlfriend was trying to steal the royal jewel collection," Eleanor informs him, still holding on to Mandy for dear life as she struggles to get free.

Jasper's beside her in two seconds, and takes hold of Mandy with a firm grasp. "Well she's not fucking getting away with it," he replies, his brow furrowed.

Now Mandy finally decides to say something. "Why don't you tell your _wife_ , Jasper, that this was originally _your_ plan. That the reason you came to the Palace was to steal from the crown jewel collection. And that she was only your route to get to it."

Eleanor gasps, and Mandy watches with satisfaction her astonishment and Jasper freezing.

It takes her a few seconds to collect her thoughts and then she turns to Jasper. "Is this true?" she demands, and even she can hear the hurt and shock in her voice. "Did you come here to steal from me?"

Jasper still has one hand firmly on Mandy to prevent her escaping, but the other runs through his hair desperately.

"Eleanor, you have to believe me when I say that that idea went out the window long ago. Yeah, it might have been the original plan but when I met you and got to know you, I decided I couldn't go through with it," his words come out in a rush and he's pleading with her to believe him.

Eleanor doesn't hear that he changed his mind, she can only focus on the fact that he lied to her, tried to steal from her and betrayed her.

"So you two," Eleanor gestures from one to the other. "Were in this together. You both came here to steal from me. And you nearly got away with it," she sounds heartbroken.

Eleanor steps towards Mandy and removes her bag from her. "You can't keep these. They don't belong to you and they don't even belong to me," she dumps the bag on her bed, and takes two steps towards her cabinet and pulls out a music box.

It is meant for a little girl and plays an old fashioned tune when she opens the lid. "If this was just about taking things from me, then take these and leave," Eleanor tells her, handing over a pair of earrings she treasures which her grandmother gave to her.

Having had all of her ill gotten gains removed from her, Mandy has no hesitation in taking the earrings and stuffing them in her pocket.

At that moment, Mr Hill opens the door, raising his eyebrows as he takes in the scene. "Can I me of assistance, your Highness?" he questions, in a typically understated air.

Eleanor nods. "Mandy was just leaving. Please escort her to her room so she can collect her belongings and see her off the estate," she tells him.

"Of course."

Mr Hill is quick to grasp Mandy by the arm and remove her from the room.

And then Eleanor and Jasper are left staring at each other.

"Eleanor, it's true that this started out being a con, but it hasn't been about that for a long time. I don't want diamonds or anything that belongs to you. I only want _you_ ," he tells her, repeating the same words he said last night.

Eleanor has her arms crossed and all she's thinking of is his betrayal.

"I don't want to hear anything more from you. I don't want to see you today. So you can either leave with your girlfriend or you can get out of the house and get out of my sight today."

Jasper doesn't miss the wobble in her voice from her veiled tears or the hurt on her face and he doesn't think he's going to win this here. Not today at least.

"Ok," he swallows. "Mandy means nothing to me so I'm sure as hell not leaving with her. But if you want me out of the house today I won't come back till late."

Eleanor nods sharply then turns her back on him deliberately and waits for him to leave.

Jasper knows a dismissal when he sees it and heads for the door, the sweat still trickling down his back.

Eleanor waits she sees his figure exiting the front door, and she feels a solitary tear trickle down her face, then she turns and makes her way to the kitchen.

Drinking is off he agenda ever since her mother removed the booze from the house, so she'll have to make do with coffee.

She switches on the coffee machine, removes the milk from the fridge and gets the cup out of the cupboard.

But there's no one there to hear or see her when she crashes on to the floor.

Only little Prince Rufus turns up a few minutes later to lap at her clammy hand, desperate for her to wake up and play with him.


	17. Chapter 17

By the time she comes to, there are hushed voices around her whispering and she's in her bedroom.

The housekeeper tells her that the doctor will be here soon.

She feels exhausted and it hurts and she doesn't understand any of it.

"What happened?" she asks the housekeeper, only half conscious. "Why do I feel so bad?"

In return the housekeeper purses her lips. "Best we wait for the doctor dear. He'll be here soon and he can give you something to feel better," she pats her hand and tucks up the sheet higher. "Now I had better ring your husband," she adds.

But Eleanor shakes her head violently. "Don't call him. Leave him alone," she tells her.

Eleanor sinks back down onto the pillow and slips into a dazed state of half consciousness.

Fifteen minutes later she's woken by the doctor peering over her and shaking her shoulder slightly. He's dressed in a tweed suit, a popular country gentleman attire, looks like he is nearing retirement and has a kindly face.

This time when she wakes she's more alert and sits up and stares at him. The housekeeper slips away diplomatically, to wait outside.

Even before he starts asking questions she notices things and she starts putting it together in her head.

"I'm bleeding," she states. "And my stomach hurts like a bitch."

"Yes your Highness," the doctor replies calmly, placing a hand on her clammy forehead to check her temperature. "That's the reason I was called here. Now I need to ask you some questions to help with the diagnosis."

Eleanor leans back and nods tiredly. Even her muddled brain is half way to guessing what's happened.

"Can you tell me, prior to this, when your last period was?" the doctor questions.

Eleanor knots her eyebrows together while she tries to work it out. "Maybe six weeks ago. Do you think I was pregnant, is that what you're saying?"

It's an idea that never occurred to her before, and its shocking, but now its the only thing that would make any sense.

"Very likely," the doctor replies. "Now I'm going to need to examine you and check the bleeding. Can I do that?" he questions.

"Ok," Eleanor replies, even though she doesn't like that idea at all.

She turns her head away while he lifts the sheets and looks underneath for a minute, then returns the sheets to where they were and tucks her back in.

His face is grave. "You've lost a fair amount of blood, and I'm afraid it looks like you're having a miscarriage."

Eleanor's face falls at his announcement. Even though she didn't even recognise she was pregnant, it still feels terrible to know that she's lost a baby before she ever had a chance to know.

The doctor speaks again and his tone is kindly. "Now I know that this is upsetting, but its a very common thing to happen unfortunately. You needn't think that you did anything to cause this - its just nature's way that sometimes a pregnancy ends like this. And most women who experience this go on to have happy, healthy children without any complications. I can offer you some medication for pain relief and a sedative if you would like. I would recommend that. And has someone called your husband for you?" he asks.

"I don't want my husband called," Eleanor's voice is sharp. "I mean he's busy today," she amends, because she doesn't need the whole world to know the true state of affairs in their marriage. "But I do want the drugs, preferably hard stuff," she adds, because if there are going to be drugs involved, she'll take the best.

A wry smile crosses the doctor's face. "Very well, I'll give you some pain relief and also quite a strong sedative which will help you to relax and sleep. I'm assuming you would rather stay here than go to the local hospital?' he questions.

"Yes," Eleanor agrees. No doubt someone will let the press know if she's checked into hospital and then they'll be questions for Africa and endless media speculation about what's wrong with her.

The doctor nods. "I'd anticipated that. My nurse Louise will be over shortly to keep an eye on you for the next couple of hours and I'll stay here until she arrives," he tells her.

"Thank you," Eleanor replies. She watches with mild trepidation as the doctor fills a syringe with approaches her, rubbing the spot near her shoulder with a cotton bud.

"You'll feel a slight scratch," he tells her.

She does, and then its only a few minutes before she slides off into a deep sleep, while the doctor keeps a careful watch over her.

* * *

She wakes around 7 that evening, and the nurse tells the housekeeper who bustles into the room with her favourite foods for dinner.

She serves up the meal with a good dose of sympathy, telling her that her lovely neighbour also had a miscarried four years ago and now has two healthy bouncing boys.

Even though she's not in the mood for company, Eleanor's touched by her kindness and thanks her for dinner.

Mr Hill finds his way into her room shortly after.

"Care for some tea, your Highness? he asks.

Eleanor nods, because even though she hasn't known him long, already Mr Hill feels like family.

Mr Hill brings in a cup and saucer and hands it to her. "How are you feeling?" he asks, and she can see the concern radiating from his face.

"I'm feeling better," Eleanor tells him. Still not 100%, but the pain medication is working and the bleeding is much lighter now. She doesn't tell him about the fact that her heart still feels heavy and when she thinks about losing the baby she wants to cry.

"That's good," he tells her. "Because Anne and I have been worried about you," he adds, referring to the housekeeper. "We both care about you. But the person who cares about you the most is your husband."

Eleanor takes a careful sip of her tea. "I will tell him tomorrow. When he's back," she replies. It's clear that he's telling her that he thinks he ought to be told. But she's not sure how she's going to find the words to explain what's happened.

Mr Hill sits back and watches her while she finishes her tea.

"Good. Because I've only been here a few weeks but it's long enough to see that whatever happens between the two of you, he loves you and he always will. And he's not the type of man to sway from a passion or be distracted elsewhere. It will always be you and only you for him," he adds, standing and collecting her now empty cup, and then heading for the door.

Eleanor doesn't reply, but she's thinking about his words.

* * *

It's after ten that evening by the time Jasper finally slips back into the house.

Everyone is in bed by then, and the house is eerily still.

He stands for a moment outside his wife's door, debating whether he should knock or not, then decides to leave her be.

Maybe tomorrow he will be able to speak to her and maybe for once she'll give him the chance to make it up to her.

* * *

 _Aww yeah so that chapter was a bit rough on you all I guess and probably wasn't what you were expecting_

 _But anyway keep reviewing and let me know your thoughts, thanks for everyone who has reviewed so far._


	18. Chapter 18

Eleanor wakes late the next morning. The nurse left last night and the staff have let her sleep in. By the time she goes down to breakfast its almost 10 and Jasper's already gone out, leaving her note telling her he's with the Estate Manager.

She doesn't know what to do with herself in the morning so she goes back to her room and switches on the TV. But nothing really holds her attention.

Lunch comes and goes, and she sits staring at an empty place opposite her because Jasper still hasn't returned, and the thought that when he returns she's going to have to tell him about yesterday weighs heavy on her.

It's nearly two when he finally shows up. She's sitting in the parlour looking through the dinner options the housekeeper has left her with to make a decision on and she doesn't even hear him until he's at the door.

"Is it true?," he asks.

Eleanor doesn't look up, but replies back without even thinking. "You're going to have to be more specific here, Jasper."

And then she tips her head up and meets his eye, and sees from the barely veiled anguish on his face that he knows.

He doesn't say anything but makes his way over to her with heavy steps and slides his phone in front of her.

The headline reads, "Princesses' private heartbreak."

Eleanor takes half a minute to skim the story from a 'source inside the Princesses' household' revealing the news of her miscarriage.

"Mandy," she breathes and just one word holds a weight of bitterness. And now she understands that even though Mandy didn't get away with the royal jewels, she left this house with information just as valuable and promptly sold it to the papers.

It's only when Jasper slides his arm around her waist that she registers that he's now sitting beside her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. I'm sorry I hurt you," Jasper keeps repeating himself into her ear and he sounds desperate.

"It doesn't matter," Eleanor tells him, and even to her ears her words sound hollow. "We can't change what's happened. No one is to blame."

But even as she's saying the words, her voice breaks.

"It does matter Eleanor. _You_ matter," Jasper tells her, fiercely.

He would say more but he doesn't get a chance to, because there's a quick rap at the door and the butler clears his throat.

"Excuse me. I just thought I should let you know that Prince Rufus hasn't turned up for his lunch. Bill and I have scoured the garden looking for him and calling his name but we've had no luck unfortunately."

Eleanor is on her feet in a second. "Prince Rufus _never_ misses a meal. He knows when he's going to be fed and he's always here early," her forehead creases with worry.

"If he's run away we have to go and find him," she looks from the butler to Jasper. "He could be anywhere. He could be cold or he could be hurt," Eleanor is panicking.

"Bill and I can go out and have a look for him," the butler offers his services, along with the gardener.

"Yes," Eleanor comes back swift and decisive. "And I will go out too," she announces.

Eleanor's already making for the door, but Jasper clasps her arm. "I can go with them. You don't need to go out Eleanor."

Eleanor shakes her head violently. "I'm fine Jasper. I have to go. Prince Rufus belongs to me. If anything happened to him and I couldn't get to him I would never forgive myself."

Jasper steps back, takes in a breath and nods. "Fine, but I'm coming with you."

There's outside a few seconds later and two staff jump in the truck, while Jasper slides behind the wheel of the Range Rover. They will head east, while the others head west.

Almost as soon as she's in the vehicle, Eleanor has the window down yelling out Prince Rufus' name and her eyes peeled. Jasper keeps one eye on the wheel and the other to the scenery around him.

They keep going, over rolling hills and valleys, through fields, then doubling back to head in a more northern direction to follow the course of the stream.

It's been nearly two hours now and Eleanor's voice is horse from calling for the little puppy. They've called the staff who are covering the other side of the farm three times, but they've had no luck either.

And Eleanor's calling again but then she falls suddenly silent and is listening intently.

"Cut the engine," she orders Jasper sharply, her face pinched and white.

Jasper doesn't question her, but breaks a little harder than normal, waits a few seconds for the vehicle to slow then switches it off.

Eleanor calls Prince Rufus' name again.

In the distance there's a faint sound. It could be yapping or it could be something else. Anything else.

Jasper gets out of the vehicle and listens carefully. Eleanor joins him in two quick steps.

"I think its coming from that way," Jasper decides, pointing to the edge of the field where a thicket of woods borders the land.

They get back in the vehicle and Jasper accelerates towards the far side of the field.

As soon as he comes to be stop, Eleanor whips off her seatbelt and scrambles out of the car.

"Prince Rufus. Prince Rufus," she yells urgently.

The noise comes back and this time it definitely sounds like a puppy, and its closer now.

Eleanor looks from left to right, trying to decide which direction its coming from.

Then Jasper puts a hand on her shoulder. "It's coming from this way," he says decisively.

That's enough to set her off, and then she's running as fast as she can towards the sound. She can't help be afraid that maybe he's hurt himself. Maybe he's trapped somewhere and he can't get out.

Jasper's following fast behind her and he can't hide the worry in his voice and its not just for the puppy. "Eleanor, slow down, you'll exhaust yourself."

She shrugs off his fears. "I'm _fine_ , Jasper. Really."

As they go further into the wood, it becomes denser and finally she has to slow down.

But she keeps calling for Prince Rufus, and the little yaps keep coming back, more persistent and hopeful each time.

It takes another ten minutes to get to him and when they find him, he is stuck under some tree branches that are much heavier than he is.

Jasper is quick to push the two braches aside and then he plucks the puppy out, tired and cold but happy to see them both.

"Oh, he looks like he hurt his paw. We'll need to get the vet," Eleanor worries.

Eleanor takes him from Jasper and is holding him up to her face and smiling at him but talking in a deadly serious tone while a tear slips down her face. "Prince Rufus. I love you. Don't you ever do that to me again. Do you understand?"

The puppy leans forward to lick Eleanor's face enthusiastically.

"I think he's saying yes," Jasper tells her from the sidelines dryly.

He takes out his phone to request that the local vet drop in for a house call to check the puppy over, then shoves the phone back in his pocket. "Now let's get everyone home," he says, resting an arm around Eleanor.

They make their way back through the forest more slowly this time.

Prince Rufus wriggles in her arms, and his little body provides some warmth in the dark of the forest, where the light is blocked by the tree canopies.

On the way there Eleanor was fuelled by adrenalin but now she suddenly starts to tire half the way back. She remembers what the nurse said about how she would feel tired and need to take it easy for a few days and prescribed her some iron tablets - none of which she had taken yet.

When they're nearly at the edge of the woods Eleanor has to stop, and Jasper doesn't miss the expression on her face.

He doesn't even say a word, just sweeps her up in his arms, even as she protests she's fine.

"You look like you're about to faint. You're still recovering from yesterday," he tells her and she's in no position to argue with him. He looks like he wants to say more but he holds himself back.

They make their way back to the Range Rover - Jasper carrying Eleanor who is carrying Prince Rufus cradled carefully in her arms.

* * *

So that's the next chapter.

Thanks for the reviews last chapter and also to those reviewers who have been supporting by story and don't mind when I do something unexpected. I know not everybody liked it, but I don't want to always be writing the same storylines. I do reply to some comments but often people will comment on what they think is happening next in the storyline and so when I post the chapter that is what is happening so that is the reply.


	19. Chapter 19

They get home just as the vet pulls up, and Prince Rufus is bustled inside for a check up.

The vet examines his paw, which has to be bandaged and then Prince Rufus receives a painkiller, and is removed to his basket. Even by the time he's put to bed, his eyelids are slumping closed as the effects of his big adventure and the drugs combine to lull him to sleep.

After they vet leaves, Jasper turns his attention to Eleanor.

He picks her up again.

"What are you doing Jasper?" Eleanor demands, sounding confused.

"I'm putting you to bed too," he responds, without even batting an eye.

"It's not even seven o'clock yet," Eleanor protests, as Jasper makes his way up the stairs in slow, deliberate steps.

"Still, Mr Hill tells me the nurse says you're not supposed to overtire yourself. And take your tablets," he tells her, in a stern voice.

Upstairs, the housekeeper has deposited two meals on the dresser and once Jasper has placed Eleanor in bed, he brings hers to her plus a tablet and sits down on the chair beside her to eat his own.

Eleanor makes an effort to eat what she can, which isn't all of the generous serving of hearty meat and vegetables, but she does her best, then places her plate on the side table and slumps back against the pillows.

Jasper disappears off down the stairs with their plates and Eleanor reaches for her phone. There are two missed calls from Liam and one from her mother, but they're going to have to wait until tomorrow to hear back from her.

Then because she can't help herself she goes to a tabloid news site, and the story about her is on the homepage. She clicks through. She doesn't even read the story properly because its the photo that captures her attention. It's an old one - maybe three years old. She and her father were visiting Bath and were on a royal walkabout. During walkabouts people are always shoving things towards them - flowers, gifts, stuffed toys, notes.

But on this particular walkabout someone decided to thrust their baby into her arms. She wanted to shove it right back at them, because she had no idea how to deal with a bloody baby. But then her Dad intervened and stepped over and starting talking to the baby until it grinned happily and even clapped its hands. And even she started to smile.

And they had to find that bloody photo to illustrate the story with. She, her dad and an unknown baby all smiling together like a happy family.

She's still staring at the photo when Jasper comes back into the room and sits down again. He picks up her phone from her hands without even asking permission.

She can see his face blanch when he sees the story and the photo on the page. But he doesn't say a word, and instead spends a minute searching for something and then puts the phone back in front of her.

"I'm going to order one of these for Prince Rufus," he tells her, pointing to an expensive collar with a GPS tracking unit. "This way if he does this again we'll have no trouble finding him. He's family and we don't want him going missing."

That statement sounds entirely unjasperlike and she thinks he's saying it purely for her benefit. And maybe, just maybe because little Prince Rufus has a tiny pawhold on _his_ heart too.

"It's a good idea," Eleanor agrees, uncharacteristically muted. "Thank you."

Downstairs, Prince Rufus slips down into a deeper sleep, dreaming of chasing rabbits in wide open fields and running amok amongst ducks in the estate gardens.

What Eleanor comes out with next comes out of nowhere. "I believe you when you say Mandy kissed you," Eleanor announces.

Mandy was a snake in the grass and anyone who could try and steal from her then turn on her and sell her most private secrets to the papers had clearly demonstrated she was not to be trusted. And even though Jasper had hurt her before maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt. And where he was concerned, her head was fighting a losing battle with her heart because she really wanted to trust him.

"I never wanted her to come near me, I swear," Jasper declares heatedly. "But I can't help thinking that the stress I put you under when you found out about the con maybe caused this, and its eating me up," he confesses. He looks like a haunted man, as he runs a hand through his hair and a bead of sweat gleams on his forehead.

Jasper has a lot of things to atone for but losing the baby felt awful and she doesn't doubt from his face that he feels it too. She can't let him blame himself for something he didn't cause.

Eleanor rests a hand on his arm carefully and looks him in the eye. "The doctor said that sometimes these things happen. That a lot of pregnancies end like this and that it doesn't mean that you can't have a family later on. That there wasn't anything I could have done - or you could have done," she adds this bit in even though the doctor didn't strictly say that, "- to stop this. And that we can't blame ourselves."

She takes a breath and adds her own confession, "I mean I thought that maybe it was my fault too, because of all the drugs and alcohol I took that night in Vegas, but the nurse explained that the baby probably wasn't even conceived until a day or two after that."

"It wasn't your fault Eleanor. It was never your fault," Jasper tells her, fiercely.

It's quiet and then Eleanor starts speaking again. "I was thinking about what our baby would have been like. Like maybe it would have looked like my Dad or Robbie or Liam."

She swallows, and the tears start blurring her vision. "Even though we never had the baby and I didn't know I was pregnant, when I think about it I miss _not_ having it. I don't know if that makes any sense."

It's hard to try to explain the sense of loss she feels for something she never had. A life gone before it started. A promise unfulfilled.

He takes her hand in his. "It makes a lot of sense. I miss not having the baby too. If she was a girl she might of looked like you. She could have been like you. She would have been absolutely _perfect_."

No one's ever said anything that's so accepting of her just the way she is before and Eleanor doesn't say a word but Jasper can feel her hand clench in his.

"The baby could have been like you," Eleanor offers back.

"And what would that make it like?," Jasper asks, turning to watch her closely. After all these weeks he feels like Eleanor's finally letting him in now, and he wants her to tell him something that's real. To tell him how she really feels. Finally.

A smile ghosts over her face. "Trigger happy. Sullenly silent most of the time. Cunning. Fierce. Kind of sweet too and ridiculously protective at times. _Hot,"_ she adds.

It's enough for him and he knows he has to take his chance now or he'll never do it. And speak the truth back to her.

"I'm only ridiculously protective of you because I love you," Jasper tells her back.

Eleanor doesn't look surprised or protest. She just accepts his words.

"I know," she acknowledges this as the truth. "I can see that now."

Jasper gets up, and lies down on the bed, pulling the blankets over them both. He doesn't give a shit that they're both still fully clothed or that there's mud on his shoes.

He pulls Eleanor in closer and she rests her head against Jasper's chest.

"Some day we'll have a baby, and it'll be healthy and happy and you'll be the best Mom," he whispers into her ear.

"Some day," Eleanor repeats. Not this Christmas, or next year because the hurt will still be too fresh. But some day.

And somehow in the space of twenty hour hours, Eleanor has shifted from regarding him as a cheating con man who she can't wait to terminate her marriage of convenience with to it being the natural order of things that they will be together forever.

"And Prince Rufus can be chief babysitter," Jasper tells her, his mouth quirking.

Eleanor smiles. "He'd like that."

"I love you too," Eleanor twists around so she can see his face and says it back finally because everything that's happened just reminds her of how quickly she can lose the things she loves. Like her father. Like Robbie. And the only thing that gives her any real comfort now is to be here with Jasper and she's too tired to fight against it any longer.

Jasper tightens his grip on her. "I might let you get up in the morning but just so you know now I've got you back I'm not ever letting you go again. I'll be spending the rest of my life taking care of you. _Every_ hour of _every_ day," he vows.

He expects Eleanor to protest but instead she just lets out a raspy, "Okay," on an exhale, and tucks herself into the spot between his chest and his shoulder.

She doesn't move or breathe as his lips touch her forehead and his breath tickles against her skin.

The light grows dimmer until the sun fades below the horizon and the moon rises in the east and the house falls quiet.

All she can hear is Jasper's heart beating against her cheek and all she can feel is his hand stroking her hair and Jasper's arms are still around her when she finally shuts her eyes.

Some day they will have a family, to accompany their fame and fortune, and their future will turn as its destined to be.

Some day they will have the world.

But for now it is enough that they have each other.

 _The end_

* * *

 _End of the story._

 _The ending wasn't entirely happy, but what I was thinking was that Eleanor has grown up quite a lot from it and worked out what's important to her._

 _Yes Mandy is evil (and dogknapping Prince Rufus would have been dastardly). Yes Prince Rufus has recovered - yah!_

 _Thanks for your reviews and let me know what you thought of the ending._


End file.
